Due to the Pandemic, Our Hook-Handed Killers Will Now Be Terrorizing Teens Remotely
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
How are you? How's the company? I'm asking not because I care, but because I want to ensure that you still work here. You're my most valuable contact.
It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.
He says he got a "nasty case of sunburn" from his "trip to Hawaii," but I'm no idiot. I can tell that he too is suffering from coronavirus
Measles, schmeasles... which is actually a new form of measles.
What on earth caused you to decide that the appropriate response to this tragedy was selling your dead baby's shoes in the local newspaper?
Our eldest son, who fancies himself an art dealer of dick pics, has found his avocation stuffing pimentos into green olives. Someone's gotta do it.
I noticed that you already posted those vacation photos online, but the evidence of just how wealthy your family is magneted to my fridge is a treat!
I think you are so unintelligent that I can change your opinion on something like a fannypack by creating a commercial that depicts trendy values.
Despite being “Employee of the Month” at the Chili’s I work at, this pales in comparison to the abysmal feeling of not being a billionaire.
That should say “eight million." I guess you could pay somebody to fix it or—wait, we do that for free, all for the cost of a cup of coffee, don’t we?
If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.