Secret Meanings of Knife and Fork
Knife and fork pointed emphatically at the waiter’s throat: A not so subtle way to show that you didn’t enjoy the service.
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Astronaut Caught Masturbating Aboard the ISS Faces New Trouble
I am a man. A normal man with normal needs. Do the whole "walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes" thing. There’s no elbow room here. No privacy.
Honest Cereal Names
Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats
Colonel Sanders Was a Union Officer and Will Therefore Not Be Cancelled
Sanders graduated from Transylvania University with honors in Afro-Caribbean Studies, Women and Sexuality Studies, and Herbalism ‘n’ Spicesism.
10 Male Variants of “Resting Bitch Face”
Resting Pitch Face – Appears on the verge of talking to you about his screenplay, TV pilot, or tech startup (avoid elevators).
I’m Marie Fucking Kondo and You Can Keep All Your Fucking Books, You Ingrates
When I said I personally liked having 30 books in my house, I meant it because that's what I like. It was a fucking suggestion, not a threat.
I Just Found Out My Hot Gay Boyfriend Is Also My Twin Brother
I felt for the first time that I was seeing myself through someone else's eyes, but it turns out it was because I was seeing my twin brother.
I’m Orville Redenbacher’s Dad and I Think His Popcorn Sucks Ass
God gave the Israelites corn and said, “Take this. And eat it only off the cob, with little tiny things called corn holders."
A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”
The Pros and Cons of Owning Different Pets
Small Fish | Pros: They are angular and elegant-looking. Do not require much upkeep or food expenses. Cons: You have had it 3 hours. It's dead.
Acceptable Reasons to Wake Up Your Parents in the Middle of the Night
You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.
How to Peg Your Partner: A Step-by-Step Guide
After the kids are asleep and your partner has put the Kindle aside, remark on the lack of sexual activity between the two of you. Your partner yawns.