Steven, traveling solo, wants to post an Instagram of his ravioli. But Germany is 6 hours ahead, so he risks his picture bombing if he posts it now.
Instead of buying a latte, deposit $5,000 in an IRA. Do that every single day and within less than a year you’ll have nearly a million dollars!
Smoke salvia out of sister's vacuum cleaner. Land a kickflip in the middle of the woods with nobody around, next to a fallen tree.
It’s a street fair, not a dog park. Your unpredictable canine is not having fun and neither am I. You can’t be apart for one hour? Seek therapy.
Ask your millennial co-worker if they need a muscle relaxer when they talk about Twitch, then find out it's not what your back does after a workout.
"Friday the 13th" - It’s the thirteenth of the month and Alice Hardy is being stalked by an unstoppable force: her student loan payments.
“Yo, it’s me: the brand-new condo that sits on the same lot that rent-controlled housing used to be on."
Classic Song Titles Re-Imagined at This Tech-Heavy, Millennial-Targeted, Social-First Advertising Agency
"Get Rich Media Banners or Die Tryin’" and "Jenny From the Blockchain": these are the kind of tunes best optimized for my life working here.
We revised the concept of “eternal damnation” and suggest referring to it as “be cool bro."
Masters in Accounting: Think about how much fun you have filing your taxes every year and imagine getting to do that every day!
If they mention it, pretend to be engrossed in Kyle’s story. If they ask you a direct question about it, feign a family emergency and run out.
Let go. Really, just let go. The truth will come. Sometimes a fart will come. A fart is just another kind of truth. #yogaeverydamnday