Life | Page 33 | Points in Case

Tag: Life

Your giant black hole costume can be made with simple, all black clothes, ensuring no one notices you (not that you needed any help with that).

He used words like “dooth” and “swete”, and I still have no idea what they mean. And his fashion is from the 1300s -- lots of beige-colored tunics.

You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.

Hal's Review: "About 13,000 people died there in the early 1900s, but you could hardly tell!"

Depression: Did I go too far by putting a puppy on my lap as I hold a guitar? Sure, I don’t know how to play guitar, but she doesn’t know that.

It rains all the time and sometimes floods, but it’s never awful, so it wouldn’t surprise me if our Heavenly Father said this purely to make a fuss.

With all due respect, let me tell you what an actual emergency is: when Rose’s necklace went missing and they blamed poor Jack for stealing it.

He surprised me with a candle because he said, "I know your love language is 'receiving gifts.'" How did you get him to read "The 5 Love Languages"?!

We don’t know if Trappist 1-h’s theoretical moons exist or not, but the motions of these maybe-moons are still going to fuck your shit up, Cancer.

You'll be ready to snatch your body back from the erratic specter that’s possessed it---and look "snatched" doing it!

Halfway down the stairs, the humming stops, but you hear a choir of singing voices instead. “Mom?”

A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.