A White House Statement on Iran for America’s Bros
The big boy used his new moon to rock nuky cappos, support beezies, and pushed a hard line throughout the Middle E-Town and beyond.
Tag: History
I Am Your City Council Representative, and Your Concerns Matter to Me
As an upstanding member of this community, I hope you’ll believe me that I am, definitively, a human flesh man, and not any kind of insect homunculus.
Paul Klee’s Childhood Diaries
Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. What sorcery is this? Only a demon could so affect the utter destruction and recreation of his countenance at will.
Greetings! ‘Tis I, The Last Man on ChatRoulette
This was a lively place teeming with men who after a day of explaining Bitcoin to George Lucas on Twitter, knew that they would find love on a webcam.
I Know, I Know, I’m the Last Roman in the Republic Who Hasn’t Seen the New Gladiator Show
Hark, I get it. Carpophorus is reinventing the very genre of public violence. I just don’t have time to get into the King of Beasts right now, okay?
I’m the King-Shit of Comedy and I’m Going to Absolutely Ruin This Substitute Teacher
Listen up, shitsticks: all you open-mic wannabes better take notes from the best comedian Channelside Elementary School has to offer.
A Brief History of the Metric System
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
Top 5 Kinkiest Fashion Trends of the 18th Century
Ladies never worried about tripping over a factory-sized ass of ruffles, because they were sure to be carried by men dying to spend time with them.
Field Notes from the Archaeological Dig of Your Boyfriend Jake’s Instagram
I speculate that these images date back to the early 2010s, based on the woman’s dramatic side bangs and orange tribal body painting.
A Comedian Made a Joke About the Holocaust, and Now I Feel Unsafe
We simply cannot allow comedians to make jokes about things we don't like. We must all rise up and flaunt our collective disgust.
An Olympian’s Guide to Having Sex with Athletes Living Under Various Forms of Government
While having sex with communists, totalitarians, and socialists all in the same place can be exhilarating, it can also be fraught with peril.
Hannibal: I’m Starting to Think Crossing the Alps was a Stupid Idea
Just six months ago, eating peeled grapes from my servants, I thought it was a brilliant idea. Now, standing up to my ass in snow, maybe not so much.