Health | Page 13 | Points in Case

Tag: Health

If there’s not enough pollution in the air to do serious damage to your lungs, doctors will suddenly find themselves out of work.

I’ve stayed in touch with friends by… A) Hosting non-alcoholic Zoom happy hours. B) FaceTiming an ex at 2AM. C) Spitting peas at my chum’s window.

$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.

Things are changing in our country. But one thing that remains constant, however, is the Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck up my anus.

Think of me as the gamma-ray to your Bruce Banner, only I give you none of the superpowers and all of the anger.

Exercise: Speak “Let’s do this again” with conviction. Real life scenario: You’re saying goodnight to a date you expect to never see again.

Ever gaze over your huge pile of thousands of children's teeth and ask yourself, "How can I make this mountain of kid teeth even larger?"

Spreading a nasty rumor about the virus - Yes, this is distasteful. Nasty, even. But lives are at stake, and we can make the virus feel unwelcome.

When you blend spinach into a smoothie, you become better. Better than others, better than yourself, better than God. You can see sound, hear color.

Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.

The Bronx Bondage – Tie your partner up, and just leave them there. Nothing is hotter than the anticipation. We condone being a tease.

Redirect the Attention. Infiltrate the Distraction. And Proceed as if Nothing Has Happened. Together, they form a useful pneumonic: RIP.