How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
Tag: Europe
An Insider’s Guide to Paris, From a Guy Who Just Spent a Long Weekend There
After my 3-day, 2-night stay in "The City By the Lights," I've compiled the ultimate Insider's Guide that will have you cheering "oui oui!" just like a local!
Horny Bulgarian Women Looking to Fuck Near You!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
German is a Lazy Language
I get that a lot of languages sound silly when translated literally, but German really takes the cake. Here are ten hilariously adorable German words into English.
Hey Now, You’re an All Star, Get Your Helmet On, Go Fight
Hey, now, that's the call now, get your mask on, it's gas. Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast. It's just chlorine and bleach.
The Clusterfuck Saga, Part 3: How I Broke My Leg So Bad I Got Stuck in a German Hospital
Just like my last surgery, this one was scheduled to run between 60 and 90 minutes, but wound up clocking in at just under 300.
The Clusterfuck Saga, Part 2: How I Broke My Leg So Bad I Got Stuck in a German Hospital
The surgeon had to call in heads of two medical departments to figure out what the hell to do. The agreed solution? Just ram the bone in and put the metal back on.
The Clusterfuck Saga: How I Broke My Leg So Bad I Got Stuck in a German Hospital
I suck at climbing stairs so much that I break bones and get sent to the hospital with an ankle so fucked up it requires MULTIPLE surgeries... the German way.
I, Pvt. Casimir Krzyzanowski, Demand an Immediate Apology from Napoleon, Emperor of France
Emperor, after you rescued Poland I dreamt of riding by your side and feasting together. But now I shall destroy your empire with my babcia Grazyna's shoe clasp!
Observations Move to Russia
The same old, white American people who came out against gay marriage are the same people who tell me that if I don't like it, then I should move to Russia.
How Rocky IV Ended the Cold War
Some say Reagan's policies helped end the Cold War, others say the Russians just realized how hot their women were. But none of that is true.
Top Ten Reasons to Panic About Putin
I'm going to admit this at my own risk: I am highly disturbed by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's bizarre acts of trying to prove his manliness.