Why I’m Leaving Lobbying for the Rich to Lobby for the Super-Rich
I started out as just an idealistic kid with nothing more than ambition, determination, and the portfolio of Fortune 500 clients my father gave me.
Tag: Environment
A Letter to the Four Jars of Moldy Salsa Found at the Back of My Fridge
I hope that you will find comfort that while you are headed to the great serving bowl in the sky, your work on Earth will not be forgotten.
12 Tips for Integrating Invasive Species into Your Great Lakes Destination Wedding
Consider adding custom lace and sequins suggestive of gills and scales. Guests will soon forget the piles of rotting fish heaped on the shoreline.
My Summer Internship Working for Dr. Mercurius Krunth, Mad Scientist
TIME Magazine once called Dr. Krunth, “a man mad enough to think himself a God while doing the work of the Devil.” All summer I would call him “boss.”
Non-Apology Apologies for Corporate Ne’er-Do-Wells
Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.
We’re Going Green! My Neil Young Tribute Band Is No Longer Using Gasoline-Powered Instruments
At our first show without the droning hum of our generator, it was scary to launch into our opener, a cover of “The Big Rock Candy Mountain.”
Out-of-the-Box Ideas for Combatting Climate Change Since We’re Probably Doomed Anyway
Flood solution? Plastic bags. Let’s collect them all and combine them into one giant, country-crossing, water-catching, plastic bag.
Rent the Newest Mobile Rideshare Option: A Stack of Tires and a Pole!
Here's how it works: use the app to locate the nearest stack of tires and a pole that I've dropped off all across the city. Then assemble!
Godzilla vs. Empty Nest Syndrome
Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.
Lettuce Number the Reasons to Join Community-Supported Agriculture
Look forward to a wide variety of items in your CSA box like kale, swiss chard, baby kale, frisee, dino kale, a bunch of spiky weeds, and red kale.
Shark Week This Year Should Finally Address Why Sharks Won’t Date Nice Guys Like Me
I celebrate their beauty and empower their right to feel sexy. But no matter how nice I am to sharks, they still refuse to let me be their boyfriend.
How to Break In Your New Hiking Boots
Explain that "Interpretive Trail Hiking" won’t have a steady paycheck and encourage your boots to instead major in "Pre-Backpacking" at Bootiversity.