Not Such a Bad Guy: Steve Bannon Holds a Beautiful Vigil for Every Puppy He Kills
For every young gazelle killed by a lion for food, a puppy, too, must also be sacrificially exsanguinated by Steve Bannon to the Dark King of Babylon.
Tag: Dogs
The Most Definitive Guide to Dogs (That I Know Of)
I've seen every dog under the sun (to my knowledge), so I thought why not deliver a little lesson in "Dog 101."
7 Incredible But True Dog Facts That Won’t Save You From the Completely Unforeseeable Collapse of the Coal Industry in the US
Incredible but surprisingly true dog facts that will in no way whatsoever save you from the fallout of the coal mine closing in your community.
Are You Batman? I’m Asking for a Friend
You really have to help me, Batman. My friend Jeff has a stray cat problem that could only ever be solved by the world's greatest K9 detective, Ace the Bat-Hound.
The Vacuum Scares My Dog, and Damnit It Scares Me Too
I think it’s the two “U’s” when I type "vacuum" that turns my knuckles white and makes the hairs on my hands stand up. Oh, and the noise.
The Requisite Horror of De-Balling My Dog
Employing a more acceptable word like "neuter" would not alter the graphic significance of such a canine procedure, at least to any human male.
I Put the Fear of God into My Dog
I don't just look at my dog with fury because that would be cliché; rather, I tend to give her a sad, betrayed look, with a hint of intense bloody vengeance.
The Sheepdog and the Bathroom Disaster
Way back in the day, my buddy Chenz wanted me to hook up with this girl with huge cans named Kiara. It turns out we both liked boozing and screwing, so things looked pretty good.
Copdog, M.D.: The Greatest TV Show Ever (on CBS)
Imagine if you can, a wolf-husky hybrid with different colored eyes , who is the lead murder detective in his state, and who moonlights as the top diagnostician in the nation.
Smoking Doobies with My Doggy
I've finally made a decision: the first drug I'm going to try is weed, and my first partner in crime is going to be my dog, because the conversation is going to be amazing.
My Adopted Dog is Totally Neurotic
There are two things keeping my boxer Tessa and I from having that perfect fairytale family. One: she is neurotic, and two: I'm a horrible dog-mommy.
It’s Not You, It’s Your Dog
We've been together for a year, but I can't do this anymore. Not only do I hate your retarded dog, I hate you for subjecting me to it, under the guise that he would somehow improve.