A Not-So-Routine Checkup with the Doctor in My Fever Dream
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
Tag: Doctors
I Asked 10 Doctors About This Thing On My Neck—Here’s What They Said!
"It's taking up a third of your neck and appears to have green veins extending from it. This can't be good." -Dr. Jennifer Miller, DDS
If You Suffer From Moderate to Severe Arthritis, This Drug is Going to Change Your Goddamn Life
Ask your doctor if Gamora is right for you. If your doctor says it is, wow, that’s a pretty ballsy doctor you've got there. I mean, this shit can literally kill you.
If I’m Going to Donate My Body to Your Medical School, Please Don’t Let Anyone Laugh at My Dead Penis
I've always wanted to donate my body to something greater than myself. But I need assurance that my penis will not be the subject of any sort of entertainment or fun.
You Won’t Need Healthcare for Long, Trust Me
No sense in paying all this money for Obamacare when the end is near. Expensive, too expensive, when we're all going to die anyway. You should love the AHCA.
The Pros and Cons of Allowing Horses to Become Doctors
Should horses be allowed to practice medicine? Here is a quick cost-benefit analysis.
To My Family: Yes, I’m Donating My Body to the College of Liberal Arts
I don’t need my dead body being jabbed into on a cutting board by doctors. I'd rather help the humanities with their flow of corpses.
Studies Show the Bearded Guy with Moleskin on the F Train is In Fact a Douchebag
Studies confirm that bearded guy in flannel, intently scribbling unintelligible poetry on the subway, has a 100% percent chance of being a complete d-bag.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump’s Health Records Revealed
An unaltered leak of presidential candidate Donald Trump's most recent health evaluation. The information has been transposed unaltered.
Welcome to McDoctor, May I Take Your Symptoms?
What if going to the doctor was like getting your car washed? You drive in and latch your tires on those rails and the conveyor pulls you into that tunnel.
Stent Removal: The Worst Pain Your Penis Will Ever Endure
The average male has no idea that a stent removal will be the most painful, emotionally scarring experience in their life. All the best to you and your penis, sir.