Stop Posting About Your Kids on Facebook, Part 3
I've done my best this year to try and avoid the Facebook narcissism that endlessly infiltrates my news feed, only to find that it is physically impossible, thus Part 3.
Tag: Children
The Complete Lunatic’s Guide to Raising a Baby
Babies are the worst. But now you accidentally have one (please say it wasn't on purpose), and I'm here to help you deal with the screaming little poop factory.
How Childbirth Confers Wisdom Upon Mothers
Moms think they know everything, just because they pushed a creature out from between their thighs and stamped a name on it.
Pinkalicious: America’s Favorite Racist Children’s Book
Pinkalicious, Middle America's favorite beady-eyed bitch, is a deceitful, thieving shit. There's a dark undercurrent at work in this supposedly fun-filled kid's book.
Kid’n Around: Music For Children Only
Kid’n Around is a heart melting band created by Josh and Nathan Dweezler. Albums include "Free Candy at Our House!" and "White Van Comes a Callin’" both available on CD or cassette.
My Childhood Pets
My second ever pet was a hamster. Her full name was Cooper the Super Duper Pooper (I was like, 6, and still maintain that rhyming is cool). Like any six year old, I wanted to hug my new best friend.
1-800-PEDOPHILE: Take Control of Your Children Today!
Nowadays, it's all too common for a mother to have the holy blue hell beaten out of her daily by her 8-year-old son. But not after a visit by one of our trained sex offender actors!
Stop Posting About Your Kids on Facebook, Part 2
After Part 1, I still have several Facebook "friends" left that I'd like to alienate, so I will make my point again by ripping apart more annoying posts about kids I've seen recently.
Stop Posting About Your Kids on Facebook
I don't have any children that I know of, and I obviously don't understand the fraternity of parenthood, but come on, nobody wants to hear about your kids on Facebook.
Trophies Mean You Were One of the Cool Kids
All the dusty, gold-plated, tomboy-shaped trophies that define how cool I used to be are, sadly, probably sitting on the shelves of poor children who didn't earn them.
10 Things Destroying America’s Youth
American youths are steadily being eroded into douchebags, techno-geeks, and new age hippies. Here are the worst things chipping away at the next generation.
Suburban Boy Gets His First Job
<p><strong>SUBURBAN HOUSEHOLD, AFTERNOON</strong></p><p>SCOTT: Mom, can I borrow twenty dollars? I want to take Cindy to <em>Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince</em> and Dad hasn't paid me yet for mowing the—</p>