Because Ayn Rand’s Birthday and Groundhog Day Overlap, You Are Now Trapped in an Endless Loop of Capitalism
Any attempts to unionize will bounce you to the beginning of your shift at your second job driving for Uber, over and over again.
Tag: Books
It’s a New Year! Time to Set Another Realistic Goodreads Goal That You Somehow Won’t Meet
The bar gets lower every year, and you still haven't managed to clear it. But this one. This is the year. You can feel it.
Geppetto’s Other Marionettes That Didn’t Come to Life
Blonde Pinocchio was a blatantly transparent attempt for Geppetto to cash in on the notoriety of his most famous creation.
My “Frankenstein” Is the First in Which the Monster Uses a Sweet-Ass Butterfly Knife
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.
Other Ways Warner Bros. Is Trying to Bury JK Rowling’s Anti-Trans Tweets
International Wizarding Day of No Technology, a new celebration where Harry Potter fans don't use modern technology while we get a handle on this PR nightmare.
How to Construct Your Top 10 List of Books You Read This Year
4. Classic from the literary canon that you just happened to casually reread recently. Because, everyone knows, you were an English major.
Excerpts from “Maynard McClelland, Bathroom Detective”
The toilet was pristine. I placed the back of my hand on the porcelain. Cool to the touch.
Heaven Be the Cross-Section of a Ship
There is one sliver of happiness, and it can be discovered only in the pages of children’s books depicting the cross-sections of ships, old and new.
Goosebumps Books You Almost Remember
Goosebumps #11: The Currency Exchange For Monsters: Monsters Have Currency Exchanges, I Guess
“Beowulf” Is a Total Rip-off of My Life
The monster in the poem “dwelt in the moor-fens, the marsh and the fastness”--and guess what, that’s exactly where my monster dwelt.
These Babysitters Club Members Do Not Exist
Fennel: The least soluble kid in her grade. A boss baby who doesn’t care about boys or cornbread.
Your Deductive Reasoning Is Ruining This Brunch, Mr. Holmes
Your constant, unprovoked deductive reasoning is making the other guests uncomfortable. There is no mystery, Holmes. Just mimosas.