Sons of Scotland! We’re Meeting for After-Battle Drinks at Aberdeen’s Pub
Those men aren’t fighting for freedom, like us! We have uncommon courage. And it takes uncommon courage to be at Aberdeen’s right at 6.
Tag: Bars
My Wife Has Put Her Foot Down: No More Sexting the Bride of Frankenstein
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.
The Body Isn’t a Wonderland: Some Suggestions to Improve Pregnancy
Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.
The Newborn’s Guide to Saving Up for Retirement
You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.
Quiz: Are You Rupert Holmes’s Lady?
2. At your nephew’s bar mitzvah, Rupert “reluctantly” agrees to sing “Escape (the Piña Colada Song)” for the guests. What describes what happens next:
So You’re Hiding From Your Family in the Bathroom During Thanksgiving
Yum, I hope that unfiltered tap water and internalized judgement from your mother tastes great!
Five Airbnb Listings You Literally Need to Book Right Now
Hal's Review: "About 13,000 people died there in the early 1900s, but you could hardly tell!"
Today’s Youth are Killing the Proud Tradition of Fighting for Honor and Glory in The Arena
Staring into a man's eyes as you plunge a dagger into them is what person-to-person skills are all about. What better way to learn these life skills?
I’m Just a Bride, Standing in Front of Her Bridesmaids, Asking Them to Answer My Fucking Texts
I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!
I’m the Pharaoh of This House and Therefore Must Be Buried in My Man-Cave
Supposedly, the journey to the after-life is long. And so, I’ll need my grill and some prime-ass steaks for the long ride.
What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Cheese Compatibility
Sagittarius: Relishes in cheeses collected from their travels around the world
A Response From the Woman Formerly Known as “Jessie’s Girl”
Your most memorable characteristics of me were “those eyes” and “that body.” Newsflash, Rick: most women on this planet have eyes and a body.