Those men aren’t fighting for freedom, like us! We have uncommon courage. And it takes uncommon courage to be at Aberdeen’s right at 6.
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.
Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.
You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.
2. At your nephew’s bar mitzvah, Rupert “reluctantly” agrees to sing “Escape (the Piña Colada Song)” for the guests. What describes what happens next:
Yum, I hope that unfiltered tap water and internalized judgement from your mother tastes great!
Hal's Review: "About 13,000 people died there in the early 1900s, but you could hardly tell!"
Staring into a man's eyes as you plunge a dagger into them is what person-to-person skills are all about. What better way to learn these life skills?
I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!
Supposedly, the journey to the after-life is long. And so, I’ll need my grill and some prime-ass steaks for the long ride.
Sagittarius: Relishes in cheeses collected from their travels around the world
Your most memorable characteristics of me were “those eyes” and “that body.” Newsflash, Rick: most women on this planet have eyes and a body.