How I Imagined Life with a Puppy, Before I Got a Puppy
When my girlfriend walks away, she doesn’t follow her. She stays with me because I’m nurturing and friendly and like, super cool.
When my girlfriend walks away, she doesn’t follow her. She stays with me because I’m nurturing and friendly and like, super cool.
You’ve seen the lows; the fighting, the occasional breakups, and the time Jeff left me at Six Flags and the park closed while I was still inside.
You think you know a person and then they run off with 29 of your closest friends to do a smash-and-grab.
Max acknowledges that you are now an out lesbian with a live-in girlfriend and three dogs so he has suggested the following addendums.
Imagine him chasing after a ping pong ball. Imagine him eating a banana horizontally, à la corn on the cob.
"What gives? Let's get fro-yo and drop a piano on him Looney Tunes-style."
I would think this would be first-three-date territory, even. Instead, you decided to mention it a decade into our relationship.
There wasn’t a single awkward pause, which is rare because I get anxious when I talk to a search engine I want to optimize.
Does he keep dropping hints about a dark backstory? Everyone knows that the hottest men are deeply traumatized by their pasts.
Immediately reschedule the client-by-client reviews; I like him so much I’m gonna throw up.
We give single people a chance to fall in love by making sure they are distracted by a bunch of petty in-fighting and random side-eye.
I still have all 327 of your fan letters from 1997--kick-ass Lisa Frank stationary, by the way--and I’m sorry it’s taken so long to respond.