Every day this week, according to my new diet, I am permitted to consume 48 grams of fat, 275 grams of carbohydrates and 165 grams of protein. I'm thinking about grams more than your average cocaine dealer.

My workout program calls for me to be in the gym six out of seven days a week, spending every other workout day on cardio and focusing on total body workouts (complete with the occasional super set) every other workout day (this will change on November 1st, when I go to a two day split with a the thirds reserved for cardio).

I have worked out twice already and I am very sore.

Today, I have eaten two containers of yogurt, a turkey sandwich topped off with lettuce, tomatoes and black olives, two pickle spears, three glasses of skim milk and a pencil (I needed the fiber).

Last night, I did not drink alcohol. Tonight I will not drink alcohol. I am now curbing my drinking to two days a week. Because of the physical conflicts of this decision, I barely slept an hour last night (I think my body has forgotten that passing out is not the same as sleeping).

Here are my stats:

HT – 70in
WT – 164
BF% – 19
LBM – 133

If you understand everything I've been typing about, then you've probably been in heated conversations about the importance of Arnold Presses, consumed mass amounts of Creatine and ephedrine, drank a gallon of water a day and yelled at a guy for forgetting to rack his weights.

That's right, meatheads. I'm becoming one of you again. It has to be done.

I was a meathead for six solid years. Four years ago, I gave it up. Then, only a couple of days ago, I woke up, walked into my bathroom, slipped on a beer bottle and fell on my butt.

And as I looked around me I realized what I had become in the last four years: a lazy glutton (as opposed to those go-getter gluttons?hey, they're out there) who can't go a day without beer, fried cheese or cheap whores.

It's time to better myself again.

Now, if you're a meathead, you might be asking me what my goals are. Well, they look like so.

HT – 70in
WT – 185
BF% – 7
LBM ? 172

But ultimately, my number one goal is just to make it through the month without drinking on a weekday.

Wish me luck.