If you ever see a truck full of men on the road with two women in the truck bed, you can bet the following: those are two cool chicks, those are four happy guys, and when it rains they’ll probably end up hanging out underneath the awning of a bank or abandoned drive-thru, or possibly even a veterinarian clinic.
If you ever see a truck full of men on the road with two women in the truck bed, you can bet the following: those are two cool chicks, those are four happy guys, and when it rains they’ll probably end up hanging out underneath the awning of a bank or abandoned drive-thru, or possibly even a veterinarian clinic.
If you ever see a whole bunch of guys and one girl standing outside a party, smoking cigarettes, you can’t say for sure that the guys are actually regular, everyday smokers; but the hot chick the guys have formed a circle around sure is.
If you ever see a beautiful chick with a rosy face, no makeup, no bra, matted hair and an exhausted look in her eyes, you can bet your last peso that she just got fucked. Well.
If you’re hanging out in a pub and you see the cook playing a video game when you put your order in, do not expect quality grub.
If you’re ever in jail and get asked by a fellow inmate what you what you’re in for, do not say anything. Trust me on this. If you must say something, tell them you were set up and leave it at that.
If you’re ever in a bar and you get approached by a girl who starts talking about how jealous, crazy and strong her “ex-boyfriend” is, run. Seriously, put down your beer and get out of there. Odds are, she wants to see you fight him. Never good.
And finally, because half-assed advice is a specialty of mine, I leave you with the following: If you’re ever asked by your girlfriend if, while you were broken up, you slept with someone else, admit nothing. I don’t care if she admitted to doing the entire local college football team while you were broken up. Just trust me. You were way too heartbroken to cheat on her, and yes, you forgive her. You must save the “You cheated on me with the whole Defense” card for the time you actually get caught in the act. Again, just trust me.