So when there is nothing to do in the fine suburbs of Cincinnati, we play dice in the alleys behind my friends house. My friend was blessed and born into a rich family, unlike the rest of us who were born into middle class. So the alley of choice was between his house and his neighbors, which was more of an alley than a driveway. So that's what we do. We roll blunts, wait ‘till it gets dark, and toss dice for a couple of hours.

We're living the highlife. But since none of us have any money besides the aforementioned rich friend, we play with Monopoly money.  As gay as that sounds, it's pretty fucked up when you throw down 100,000 dollars of fake money and pray for a seven. It's even more fucked up when a seven hits and your rolling in all the fake 500 dollar bills you had to scrape up from ten different sets of Monopoly. So there we were, just chilling on a Saturday night, tossing dice at two in the morning, drinking beer and smoking blunts, when the neighbors come out to tell us to turn down the music. Now when a bunch of white kids are drunk and high and not trying to hide it, you can't expect them to be compliant at all. Especially when your blaring N.W.A and everyone is acting thug as fuck. Except for me of course, I had a bad accident acting black once, and learned my lesson early on. That's a whole different story in general though.

So the neighbors go inside and we think nothing of it. Half an hour later, a cop appears at the top of the drive way. He yells something about turning the music down so he could talk to us, and as I walked over to the stereo in my intoxicated state, I instead flipped the stereo over for some reason and started sprinting through backyards to run two miles back to my house. I looked back to see the cop motioning for everyone else to stay put, and surprisingly, everyone did. The rest of the story, I heard the next day.

The cop asked for my name, and like the true gentleman my friends are, no one knew my name because I came with someone else who left earlier. The cop then proceeded to walk over to the cardboard on the ground, and seeing that everyone was throwing down Monopoly money, asked if this was serious. When the response was just giggling, the cop just walked up the driveway, ignoring all the beer and blunt smell that covered the place.  They said he informed them all that if he ever had to come out here again for something as quote retarded unquote as this he would arrest everyone on the spot. Except for me because I ran.

So in retrospect, throwing dice in a rich neighborhood while intoxicated isn't always the smartest idea. But I learned a valuable lesson that day. If the crime you commit is absolutely ridiculous, you'll probably walk away from it. Unless your me, then you just give into instinct and bail at a moments notice.

Song of the Day: The Perfect Ending by Straylight Run

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