Happenstance, PA

My sense of humor can be summarized with one joke: Q: Why does 6 hate 7? A: Because 7 8 out 9.

Comedy Writing

An Open Memo to 85% of the Girls in My Classes

Dear Sluts,<br /><br />Take off the Ugg boots, the windshield wiper sunglasses and the Flintstone skirts. Stop going to a tanning bed. Stop bleaching your hair. Stop getting drunk and sucking every dick in the room. And for Christ sake, read a fucking book. <br /><br />Cosmo doesn't count.<br />Glamour doesn't count. <br />Teen Vogue DOESN'T FUCKING COUNT.<br />

The Best 80’s Ballads, My Top Ten

10) "When I'm With You," Sheriff<br /><br />9) "I Want to Know what Love is," Foreignor<br /><br />8) "Wind of Change," Scorpions<br /><br />7) "Bringin' on the Heartbreak," Def Leppard<br /><br />6) "Knockin on Heaven's Door," GNR<br /><br />5) "Is this Love?" Whitesnake<br /><br />4) "I Remember You," Skid Row<br /><br />3) "Fly to the Angels," Slaughter<br />

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