Happenstance, PA

My sense of humor can be summarized with one joke: Q: Why does 6 hate 7? A: Because 7 8 out 9.

Comedy Writing

I Noticed That You Don’t Touch Snow… (A Poem)

<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />I noticed that you don’t touch snow...</span><br /><br />but maybe now <br />you’ll throw your cigarette<br />in my empty beercan<br />sometime <br />lifting it from my grip <br />with a wink; putting on bright red lipstick<br /> and a dark, blue, wool sweater<br /><br />& maybe you’ll finger<br /> through the couch

Coffee Shop in Tijuana (A Poem)

<p><span style="font-weight:bold;">Coffee Shop in Tijuana</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">This Ain't No Goddamn Novella</span><br /><br />I<br />opened my notebook n<br />dumped sugar and cream in my<br />coffee and wrote four <br />goddamn words when Paco <br />pulled out his pistol and started shootin <br />all of us <br /><br />I apparently missed all

St-St-St-Stuttering S-S-Shards

Me: Alright Shaun, you measure and cut those two by twos and Phil and I will screw in the floorboards.<br />Shaun: Okay...<br />(Shaun finishes)<br />Shaun: I’m done.<br />Phil: ...That was quick.<br />Me: Well just stand there and relax; we’re almost finished screwing.

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