Happenstance, PA

My sense of humor can be summarized with one joke: Q: Why does 6 hate 7? A: Because 7 8 out 9.

Comedy Writing

And the Breakup Pool Winner is…

<span style="font-weight:bold;">Jules!</span><br /><br />Congrats Jules, by selecting the shortest amount of time away in the break-up pool, you've won the chance to write an article for me.<br /><br />Get writing!

C’mon Lil’ Devil: The Story of a Romance Novelist and Yatil Green

There was this stoner to her left, short-cropped, brown hair and a Renaissance-type face smoking some reefer. <br />He yelled from some little Caprice, “Don’t you wanna crack at it, sweet tits?"<br />She said, "No sir, no sir, I’ve got a new epiphany without yer joint.” <br />The green light clicked on and she rolled up her window.

Four Point… Oh… Fuck

After four years of maintaining the highest GPA average one may have in college, I've finally been thwarted by a fucking Italian 102 class. Turns out, you can't just show up to tests for that, not knowing any Italian, and end up doing well. So, the highest grade I can achieve is a B-, getting at least a 94.5% on my final (which is strangely only worth 10% of my grade). I'm opening it up to you...

There are Homosexuals and Then There are Peas: A Story

<p>A man stood outside the gym smoking. He was waiting for his son to leave Ballet. He smoked four cigarettes, much more than he usually did, as he looked through the large windows at his son, pirouetting and bounding with the other young boys. He smoked a pack as his son reached between his legs and removed the sleek, pink tights from his small buttocks, shyly.

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