My Czech Post Office Nightmare
The following is a true story, and the conversations are posted as close to verbatim as possible, as much of the talking was in Czech, and it's just a silly language.
I get in trouble for hanging out by elementary schools and occasionally cover myself in honey and punch bees. I make words for the internet. If you want me to make words for you, just ask. I have a lot of free time. None of you really care about this.
The following is a true story, and the conversations are posted as close to verbatim as possible, as much of the talking was in Czech, and it's just a silly language.
Some of these are legal misconceptions, others are things that might land you in a prison cell next to a guy named Fuckmissile without you having any idea why.
I had no idea if my computer even HAD a warranty. But when have I ever let logic stand in the way of berating someone undeservedly for the sake of comedy?
"Oh my dear sweet literal fuck that is a volcano I am on a volcano oh fuck a volcano is steaming under my feet and I am not a lucky person I am going to die!"
AMC made a show about competitive taxidermy. Which means they will literally accept any show in the world. So here are my pitches for their next fall lineup.
Before you diet, pump iron, or arm wrestle trains, there are a few myths about working out that I, as the pinnacle of human perfection, must warn you about.
How to shoplift as a man while dressed in normal clothing vs. wearing a frilly pink lace bra and absolutely fabulous crushed velvet leggings.
I didn't want just ANY kind of deliriously drunk, I wanted to get Video Game Deliriously Drunk. Here are my personal experiences with nine gamer cocktails.
I wanted to eat a lion, but I felt the primal need to get my hands on one myself. And there's only one place I could to that: so I flew to Sudan as a missionary.
I didn't want to listen to this Moroccan guard, but he was the kind of person I tend to listen to. The kind of person who carries a large gun.
Sometimes I hear my friends expound on cooking tips they've heard somewhere before and I think, "Well, that's not right." Here are six common cooking myths.
I cannot sum up Game of Thrones as anything other than, "A bunch of people, mostly assholes, who just stand around talking to each other while wearing fur."