In life, it's generally accepted that math sucks, at least for everyone who's not a scientist, doctor, or mathematician. There have been numerous times when doing math has broken the will of a young adult, sucking the life out of him or her with every theorem or function involving numbers. Doing math is sort of like watching Beauty and the Beast… only Beauty and the Beast had nothing to do with math, so it's a Disney classic. Then again, there has to be some equation(s) out there that actually makes me smile instead of thinking about how never to look at a number again.
Even though knowing the quadratic formula won't be useful until a serial killer runs up to you and is all like, "TELL ME THE QUADRATIC FORMULA OR ELSE I'M GONNA MURDER THE SHIT OUT OF YOU," doesn't mean you can't find out a lot by using it in everyday life. Fortunately, there are some equations out there that don't conjure up bad memories of wetting yourself during a math test, and I've got them here!
Let's take a look at the wonderful (and useful) equations that make life a little more worth living.
- Man/2 = man tragically cut in half
- Man + too much power = Kanye West
- (1 bad movie + 1 decent movie) – 5 good movies + the entire Twilight series = Chinese movie torture
- Pretty woman + school-funded trip to an exotic location + alcohol = missing American
- Missing American girl + 4 months = what missing American girl?
- Corn syrup ? friendship between teenage girls
Man + woman = child- Child + man + woman (bitchiness) = divorce
- Canada – healthcare = giant post-apocalyptic piece of land
- (Productive person + television) + Nutella = lazy human being
- Person who farted in public + public = manhunt
- Stupidity + YOLO = fatal accident
- 50-year-old who has never eaten candy + Skittles = Skittles-induced spontaneous combustion
- ASPCA commercial + somebody who's seen 100+ ASPCA commercials – sanity = dead body
- (Mother nature + period) x Earth = natural disaster
- Good taste in music + horrible person = hipster
- Hipster/2 = person thankfully cut in half
- (Wound + time) + (Samurai – forgiveness) = revenge = hit movie
- Alien + makeup + love = Oprah Winfrey
- Baked goods + weed = BAKED goods
- (Technology + accelerated development) + Earth X monkeys = planet of the apes
- Child + super strength = Hercules – empathy = MEGA ROBOT HERCULES
- (Giant lizard + Tokyo Bay) – Japan = lizard taking a bath
- (Bert + Ernie) x sex = What's really happening on Sesame Street ? Anal sex
- Family photo + middle finger = meme
- Stupid person + thinking cap = kid with cool hat
- (Really lucky person x 5) + Russian roulette = failed suicide attempts
- Earth = America = The Hunger Games
- Human + radiation = superhuman
- Food + radiation = superfood
- Superfood + human = human being eaten alive
- Pop x corn = delicious
- Pop – corn = gunshot wound
- Gunshot x 50 = 50 Cent
- 50 Cent – life = Tupac or Biggie Smalls
- Love + douche + average guy – hot girl = standard gay couple
- Math teacher + Jesus Freak = fight to the death
- Person + immortality – high IQ = that girl you wish would just die already
- Man putting a ring on it + woman – free will = how hit songs and forced marriages are made
- Cookie Monster – radiation = regular monster
- College + magic + evil = Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry = my future school
- Feminist – lesbian qualities + nice body = stripper
- Prostitute – prostitution laws = business owner
- Facebook – knowledge = face
- Attractive person + thick rimmed glasses – anyone who really cares = person who is in no way nerdy
Man + woman = child