Archive: 2007

The YouTube Critic

A look at the best and the worst YouTube has to offer by a man driven to internet writing after rejection from the cruel world of cinema.

Take ‘er Easy

<p class="MsoNormal">The Lady in Leather Skirt and Boots w/ the banging body on Telegraph,<br />Okay, so you’re not a whore (yet). But I’m telling you, we could make some big money together…set your own hours; work from home!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">--Wolf (The 1200 block of Telegraph)</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>

Sorry for the Incidental Boob Touch

<p class="MsoNormal">This is for Mandy at Mulligan’s last night: As I was <i style="">about</i> to say before your boyfriend started sling-shot-ing<span style=""> </span>punches to my face, my name is Peter. Hi.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">--Peter</p> <p class="MsoNormal">p.s. He seems violent. You should dump him.<br />Give me a call and we’ll talk about it. </p>

I Saw You Eye Fucking Me

It's not like you're wearing sunglasses you know. I can feel the heat from your eyes burning on me like a thousand suns. You want me so badly.

I am Not Subtle, Nor Charming

The spoon turns red<br />and somewhere in your<br />leftover emotional knapsack<br />the sky looks like I’m<br />running. It's true.<br /><br />And by the time I get to where I’m<br />shooting,<br />I forgot it was her who got me to<br />pull the trigger.<br />So,<br />I keep my face<br />in the light of a match<br />and the dark of a foxhole,<br />remembering how she slutted her way out

Heart Shards

<div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal">This isn’t a romantic Missed Connection or anything. I’m just looking for the whereabouts of my dear, dear friend Bob Wienkle.<br /><o:p></o:p>Bob? Hey there, buddy. How are you? You well?

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