Archive: 2005

Jingle Bell Sun Block

<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/santa-793175.jpg"><img style="float:right;cursor:hand;margin:0 0 10px 10px;" alt="" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/santa-790229.jpg" border="0" /></a>I love the holiday season in Florida. There is nothing cooler on planet Earth than stepping outside on an eighty degree November Saturday morning and watching a Puerto Rican guy string lights over a palm tree, set out a Santa on his roof (only after dressing St. Nick up in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses) while I sip a screwdriver and tan. It’s like coming to work and finding a fresh Pina Colada sitting atop your inbox. Except the Florida Holiday Season actually happens.<br /><br />In Miami, they have a winter carnival, complete with a pig tossing event. I’d go in more detail, but hell, just google it. I can’t write about that any better than Dave Barry did.<br /><br />My buddy Big Mike throws an annual Thanksgiving party for those of us who don’t go back north for Thanksgiving break. We sit around a pool listening to football, sucking on beers while Mike and his flavor of the month take care of the kitchen details. Ah, Florida.<br /><br />I love going to Clearwater Beach in December and listening to some of the Reggae bands play Christmas carols. “The Little Drummer Boy” is awesome Rasta style. Trust me on that.<br /><br />I love it when the college kids clear out for break, and I can go up to a bar on a football Sunday and play cards with the bartender while bitching about the Buccaneers.<br /><br />But mainly I love how good it feels to come back home, after three or four days in St. Louis, and go straight from the airport to the beach, stick my toes in the sand, look up at the sun drenched sky and thank God that it will be another 12 months until I put on a winter jacket again.<br /><br />One winter, I told my buddy Anton that the Midwest was God’s country.<br /><br />“Yeah, and he can keep it,” replied Anton.<br /><br />And our laughter drowned out the sounds of his children playing in his pool on a seventy degree December day.<br /><br />Ho ho ho, indeed.

Behind the Scenes—The Internet is Weird

<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/behindthe-723913.gif"><img style="float:right;cursor:hand;margin:0 0 10px 10px;" alt="" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/behindthe-719415.gif" border="0" /></a>The internet is weird. Since I started tapping my keys for PIC almost five months ago, I have received emails from high school friends who found me through the site, emails of a complimentary nature from both women and men, and emails of a negative nature (death threats, people who took me seriously and wanted to let me know how wrong my social perspective is, and computer viruses). Oh and pictures of breasts (thanks, by the way). I have even had a few phone conversations with some of these readers (one of them even stood in line for over two hours to get me an autographed copy of a book I really wanted, then mailed said book to me—and yes, I owe her my first born) and I must say that it absolutely delights me that people read me. (Side note: I can’t remember the last time I actually felt delighted. Stop and ask yourself how often you feel delighted. It’s not often. Anyway, back to the business at hand).<br /><br />Here are some highlights from some of the emails I have received.<br /><br />“Are there any other forms of sodomy that you enjoy enough to write about?”<br />—S Diddy<br /><br />“Just wanted to let you know that my boyfriend is a regular reader of your articles. He didn’t tell me that, I just know because he sometimes cuts and pastes some of your lines, (particularly things that women should know) and sends them to me. And later I found out that the lines are from your articles. Anyway, I love your articles too, been reading them regularly. I love your sarcastic tone. Cheers.”<br />Rena,<br />KL, Malaysia.<br />—Rena<br /><br />“If your trying to be a comedian or taking some kind of journalism; don't give up your day job at McDonalds.”<br />—Timothy<br /><br />“Hello Nathan DeGraaf, My 8 yr. old son and I were looking at football stuff tonight and I stumbled across you. I am the former Mrs. Nathan DeGraaf. Of course to a different Nathan DeGraaf. Not a very common name. I am surprised as %^$$&* that there is another one out there. Well, If you want to know anything else I will answer. So So So strange, that I just had to tell you about it.”<br />—Keriann<br /><br />“So I'm sitting here in Baghdad, Iraq, surfing the internet b/c my work is complete for the day, and I think, ‘I'd bet that if I google Nate DeGraaf, I'll find him on the first page, and it'll be something off the wall.’ ... and now I write.”<br />—Greg (former high school classmate)<br /><br />So there you go. There are lots of other ones too, but I’m not posting any of the death threats, breasts, or viruses. I just want to say, feel free to keep them coming people. Whether positive or negative, your emails de freaking light me.<br /><br />And that ain’t a common feeling.

All is Fair in Love and Blogging (Now with Audio)

<a href="http://www.favewavs.com/wavs/movies/deadwitch.wav">It's over </a>(I'd imagine.) In retrospect, I could have been nicer. I also <em>may have won $10 Million from Publisher's Clearing House.</em> Oh, well.

Strippin’ the Snippets

Me: So you’ve been a stripper for three years, and through all that time, you never got one disease, did one line of cocaine or failed one class? Lynn: That’s right.

Observations Like a Fridgeworthy Sketch

<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/bear-706026.jpg"><img style="float:right;cursor:hand;margin:0 0 10px 10px;" alt="" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/uploaded_images/bear-703536.jpg" border="0" /></a>I just found out that the cute girl who lives three floors above me is a Junior at USF, is majoring in criminology, belongs to a sorority and works as a stripper three

×Close