Perfect Songs for 12 Scenarios When You’re Shaving Parmesan over a Plate of Fettuccine Alfredo and Waiting for the Patron to Say “When”
When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.
When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.
Posting signage around the restaurant that says, “We Pinky Promise We Washed Our Hands Before Returning To Work,” is not comforting.
If you’re used to other eateries in the area, you might be surprised by the cold, but we didn’t mind cuddling up.
Eastsiders recommend the taco place with a questionable sanitation rating but amazing salsas. Westsiders recommend, “I guess, Sugarfish again?”
Think of all the times you said, "I wish I could provide for my family by working somewhere that played realistic thunderstorm sound effects every 17 minutes."
A Phone Charger: “Nourish thine phone and ye shall nourish thine soul.” Neitzsche said that.
At this annoying cafe every day is your birthday. Imagine singing waiters serving every course to the tune of “Happy Birthday” at full volume.
When you request to have the meat removed, they’ll still charge you full price so at least your bank account feels like you’re eating a real meal.
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
There is a half-eaten sub sandwich on the ground. It looks like it has been there for some time. / You're here because you wanted to go "green."
Very hard to get a hold of. / Rarely available but never disappears forever. / Covered in BBQ sauce.
No matter how many side pickles one has in their lifetime, each new side pickle feels like the first.