Let’s Boycott Thanksgiving! This Has Nothing to Do with Me Being a Turkey, By the Way
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.
You can either let those lemons get you down, or you can absolutely crush the shit out of those lemons by channeling the inebriated fury of Thor.
Just thinking about it gets me so angry. It makes me want to explicitly slice Raphael instead of the usual implicit slicing I do.
Despite being “Employee of the Month” at the Chili’s I work at, this pales in comparison to the abysmal feeling of not being a billionaire.
An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.
I caught him watching old episodes of Scooby-Doo and scribbling in a notebook. He was mumbling things like, “Oooh, that’s a good one to plagiarize.”
Unfortunately, the use of our XR line to assist in a murder of anyone is strictly prohibited.
It is so very, very stuck. Goddamnit, Frank. Goddamnit. You just had to eat the whole thing, didn’t you? You know better than to try shit like this.
Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.
Also, need I remind you, I didn’t try to lasso the waiter with it---I did lasso the waiter with it.
You know what it looks like. It’s the same tank top I wear every time we get together to defeat an age-old evil or combat a monstrous hellion.