How to Get More Head

>>> About Last Night...
By staff writer Ali Wisch
March 15, 2006


I know all of you probably get plenty of head, but a little more never hurt anyone, right? While I would love to write an article directed toward girls about how to improve the art of fellatio, I do not know the names of any fancy tricks, and I think "don't bite" is pretty much a given. Instead I thought I would give guys a few tips on how to receive it better. (You shouldn't be so lucky, right?)

I'm not saying this is going to get girls flocking to your penis like it’s attached to Brad Pitt's body, but if you follow this advice, who knows, next week your girlfriend may be feeling slightly more generous.

Tip #1: Don’t mistake the blowjobs you are receiving for those you are observing on facefucker.com.

A mouth is not a vagina, and not all girls are able to fit 4+ inches of rock-hard man down their throats at eighty miles an hour. There is also something called a gag reflex; unfortunately we do have it. Shoving your schlong down your girl's throat like it’s the never-ending hole of glory won't get youoff and might even get you thrown up on.

Tip #2: Your woman's hair is not to be confused with "handlebars" or anything of the sort.

Pulling gently on your girlfriend's locks is one thing. Shoving her head down like you’re trying to drown her in a toilet bowl is another. She knows it's there, and when she comes up for air, chances are she's going back down. A nice alternative is to hold her hair out of the way so she's not eating that along with your dick.

Tip #3: Spit or swallow, you're still getting off.

I know it would be a lot nicer if you didn't have to pause right before the finale. Most girls that I've spoken to don't have a problem with adding a little extra protein to their diet, but for those who do, cut them a break. Your man milk doesn't exactly taste like butterscotch. Also, a little warning is nice. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you’re even finished. We need more than just a flinch. Two words, "I'm close," should do the trick.

Tip #4: There are numerous ways to let your flavor of the week know that you are in the mood for a blowjob.

The “oh so popular” pushing down on your girl's shoulders while you are making out is getting a little old. After we feel the slightest bit of pressure pushing downward, trust me, we know what's going on. Continuously trying to shimmy up and scoot us down can get aggravating. I'm not saying don't let us know, just give us a minute. Nagging is not hot in any way, shape, or form. You could try simply asking; however, make sure to stay away from coming off sleazy. As soon as your girl hears, "Baby would you lube my tube," I can pretty much guarantee she'll be heading for the door. You might even want to try a little reverse psychology. Girls like it when the ball is in their court. Try telling them you don't want them to feel like they have to give you head, and you may be surprised how quickly they get down there.

Tip #5: If you’re open enough, give her advice.

If your girlfriend gives head like she eats an artichoke, you could be in for a pretty painful surprise. Most girls won't take offense if you tell them to go a little bit faster, use both their hands, play with your balls, or wear a mouth guard. On second thought, maybe keep the mouth guard comment to yourself. If she doesn't know how to improve, she won't be able to. Some people take constructive criticism very critically, so choose your words wisely. Also, while you are critiquing her, it’s always good to encourage. If she's given you good head, tell her; it will make her more confident, thus increasing the chances it will happen again sooner than later.

Tip #6: Return the favor.

I'm not saying you have to every time, but it’s nice to know that the road goes both ways. After all, blowjobs are not as easy as they may seem. And to quote Sex and the City, "They don't call it a job for nothing."



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Instead of "I'm close", how about this?

I ask the girl a random question like "What's the capital of Botswana?" She stops and says, "I don't know." Then, in the tradition of <i>You Can't Do That on Television</i>, I cover her face in reproductive slime.

No?

I guess "I'm close" will do.

Using head as a bargaining chip works too. If she wants something bad enough, she'll give you head for it. Trust me

Damn, this article is so well timed! Seeing as it falls on the <a href="http://www.steakandbjday.com">holiday</a> when men think THEY'RE entitled to be nagging and demanding and high-maintenance.
Way to lay the rules out; they should cut you a tax break for making a public service announcement.

Fantastic article. One thing, though. Hair is handlebars. Or pullstrings. The game is to see what she'll put up with, not how you get your rocks off; who cares about that shit, it's gotten old. My experience: she'll put up with alot once her mind's made up.

good article. i'm gonna have to remember those rules, not that i have a chance to use them on anyone... except my wife. ehn, but all i have to do is get her drunk
http://youknowhowiknowyourgay.net

SOMEONE CHANGE ME PLEASE!

Ali, will these rules help us get with you? We don't have to tell Rebello...or he can tape it...either way up to you.

JA.

Hair isn't handlebars has one exception -- wearing pigtails is an invitation for me to ride your face like a hog.

ali, i'd like to order a to go blowjob.

god damn what a prude you are. you state what you dont like to do but you sure want the god damn wolrd in return.

its called, a spoiled bitch who likes to be serviced and not return the favore.

you bitch about sprem not tasting like butterscotch, news flash, pussy usually has to be douched to help its smell and taste, but, far be it for Me to take away your illiusions of granduer.

no wonder so many flock to the $5 whores and
http://www.americanwomensuck.com sites.

:)

the whole article was about how to get more head...and what did i ask for in return...for you to head down south on us once in a while?

I love it al, good work, but u know u can get more then 4 inches down ;).... ill give u call this weekend, maybe we can try a few of these tactics since i couldnt come over last night. Sound good? peace al, see ya soon

so funny ali. you are awesome. fuck the haters

Hey Ali, did you copy your whole article out of Maxim? I wouldn't be surprised since they said the exact same stuff years ago.

Give me some info I can use! Christ!

i wasn't aware maxim had done something on this already, if you could send me the link i would really appriciate it, thanks! :)

Ali you are such a wonderful person and a beautiful writer.....keeep this dank shit up!! hahahahah YES!!

I've found that even girls who give awful head need encouragement when they're doing it right as opposed to criticism when they're doing it wrong. Aside from, as you mentioned, the obligatory "no teeth," the three most-used phrases in my lexicon while getting a BJ are "That's awesome," "That feels great" and "You're amazing." At the very worst end of the spectrum, I'll use "Not too hard," "Do that other thing" and "Let me do you." Assuming you and your partner can whisper to one another -- face to face or with you behind her -- you can tell her what you liked rather than focusing on what you didn't. I've never had an unsuccessful foray into giving head, but I pay close attention to her breathing, her hips and what she's telling me. The whole point, whether it's you or someone else who is doing the work, is to get the other person off; going through the motions per se isn't the idea, it's making sure he/she is enjoying it. Discussing it -- either during or before/after -- is a great way to share. Eventually, with practice and some observation, she won't need to tell you what to do -- and you won't need to tell her what to do. It will um...come...naturally. -B-

Ali babe, you are such a genius, you covered all the points from both sides, I couldnt have done it better myself, keep it up. Much love.

Ali, no offense, but I didn't really learn anything new in this article, it was a disappointment. Your article was more on blowjob etiquette- telling men how to act civilized- and unless they are immature, retarded or have never had an intimate relationship with a female, than I can see why this article might be of some use.

We, men, understand women a lot more than they give us credit for and some of us are more observant than the rest. Common sense says that a women is not going to like you pushing her head down so you can enjoy hearing her gag. But how do you get the women to WANT to push her head down on you to watch your eyes roll backwards?

THATS what you should have focused your article on, what happens when the girl doesn't want to blow you, even though shes your committed girlfriend. The problem with some women (and men), is they are more selfish then others. And if there's nothing for them to gain, they rarely venture out into that territory willingly.

So the question should be, how to get the women in the mood for head. How to get women to demand to give you head? Your article is in the assumption that you are already in the process of getting head (As such, a better title would be "How to act proper while getting head")

And then it gets trickier. How are you going to return the favor when shes on her period? How are you going to get her going when shes tired, and has already made up her mind to not give in and is half way asleep. How do you get her comfortable enough to have sex in public, albiet, in discreet places? These are the far more important questions.

Pickup a few books and you'll realize women are really not that much similar to men when it comes to the act of sex, they depend on their emotions/thought processes rather than pure visualizations. They want a sense of connection, yes even the one that runs around like the village bicycle (the need it probably even more).

A number of factors weigh in for a woman, such as: having a sense of trust, security and comfort; being in the "right mood", timing and SEXUAL TENSION.

So how do you get women to give you MORE head? You bite the bullet that one time when you really feel like your going to explode, and wait until you can create enough sexual tension to the point where she is begging to give you head. I've noticed men get turned on more often and at higher frequences but with less intensity as a female.. But when a woman gets aroused just that one time, she wont give up. Lead the thought of sex with her brain and the rest will follow (no pun intended). Make her want it so you dont have to dwell on it.

But the real question is, you men, do you have enough self-control for that? Probably not, but a book on Budhism may help you.

..Either way, go find out and stop begging for it- it makes you look desperate with no self-confidence.

Peace to all the selfless lovers.

Self-righteous douche! I thought this was a hilarious article.

Whatever chicks like feeling like hogs during a good face-fuckin' otherwise y would they continue to date ego centered assholes. Hey look at me, i get head/sex almost every day and its cause i act like im awesome

LISTEN EVERYONE HERE HAS GOTTEN IT ALL WRONG....IF U WANT YOUR GF TO GIVE YOU HEAD THEN U MUST FACE THE MUSIC AND SHOW HER THAT U ARE WILLING TO GIVE HER SOME AS WELL..BUT HERE IS THE TRICK THAT WORKS FOR ME EVERYTIME.....SEDUCE HER AND HAVE HER HORNY AS HELL...TO THE POINT WHERE SHE IS BEGGING FOR SOME PLEASURE...GO DOWN ON HER BUT DONT LET HER GET OFF...PAY ATTENTION AND WHEN SHE IS HUMPING YOUR FACE ABOUT TO GET OFF, ALL U HAVE TO DO IS STOP AND SAY "BABY ITS YOUR TURN TO DO ME WHILE I CONTINUE TO DO U" I SWEAR BY THIS METHOD AND HERE IS WHY...WHEN U STOP AND SAY THAT, THE ONLY THING RUNNING THROUGH HER MIND AT THAT POINT IS CATCHING THAT NUT AND GETTING PLEASED...SO WHEN U STOP SHE WILL DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING TO GET U TO KEEP GOING INCLUDING GIVING U HEAD...BUT DONT BE DIS-RESPECTFUL ABOUT IT AND PLEASE DISPLAY FIRERY PASSION WHILE U EAT HER B/C THAT HELPS HER FEEL LOVED AND NEEDED...SO ENJOY AND PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS B/C I SWEAR BY THIS METHOD...
THANX
-Anonymous Lover Boy

It's amazing; I'm only 22 and yet I can't get over how young and naive you sound. I think your real problem is simply that you're both inxperienced, and rarely satisfied with your partners' performance. This may be due to your lack of instruction, or you own taste in men. Either way, before writing such biased articles, perhaps you should really analyze the quality of your own sex life, and maybe lay off all the woman shows that are full of critical, dissatisfied women such as yourself.

get her drunk :)

I love to give my guy head- I love it when he starts fingering me and gets me all worked up, then he just stops- I beg him to suck him off. My man gets a blow job everyday.

Nice tips are here... I had problem with my girlfriend. She didn't want to give me blow jobs. It was making me completely crazy! So I've searched on internet a little bit, and I found this amazing website with all amazing tips about how to convince her to give you a blow job. I read all tips and I was like „Wow“. And it worked! It helped me making my girlfriend give me a blow job. Now, I get blow job anytime I want. You should really check it out - http://jacksblowjobpersuasion.com/

I read Jacks Blow Job persuasion, guide is amazing, really, no bullshit useless tips.. So thumbs up... Good luck

I'm sick of all of this crap about guys saying get her drunk or make her do it. I'm also sick of all the women saying that you want them to do something for you and than you will do it for them. How about this little fact: sometimes guys are way smarter and charming than you give them. I am 23 and I have only gotten a blow job 3 times. It was nice, but I honestly love showing her I love her and than just talking to her.

Really? Talking to her? What are you...? Asexual...? Seriously man, if a girl you "love" turns you on (as she should), then you should naturally want to get frisky... If you don't, you either get blueballs or you're asexual. I am currently suffering from blueballs, my girlfriend refuses to give me a blowjob even though I go down on her every single day and give her shattering orgasms to the point where she cries and screams in the affirmative.

What bullsh*t. I have had 3 relationships of 2 years plus (current one 5 years) with both of the previous ones essentially ending because of not enough head. I have tried just about everything possible from not talking about it to nagging, super compliments, going down on her twice as often as she goes down on me, mutual exchange systems (full body massages for 1 blowjob), lots of moaning during head (I am fairly quiet during sex) etc. I have put a lot of effort into the sex life of my current and past 2 relationships but get nowhere, when the topic actually comes up for discussion I usually get something like "I dunno, I just like sex".

It is super frustrating and really depressing, which leaves me in a heaps bad mood. After 18 months of no progress (i.e not a single voluntary bj and maybe an average of half a bj every 2-3 months) I eventually stop caring and just get what I want and turn off.