Anti-Chuck Norris Facts: TV

Chuck Norris TV Facts:

If you bother Chuck Norris during Grey's Anatomy he'll, like, totally be pissed at you for weeks.

The line “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street” originated when Chuck Norris, nervous and eager to have sex with
puppets, lost his way to the Sesame Street auditions.

Chuck Norris has been offered a role as "Dragger, Texas Deputy" in the new "Walker, Texas Ranger" show. The new show will star "Walker," a bionic
piece of metal "Dragger" uses to get around.

Chuck Norris is hung like Snuffleupagus, and only Big Bird can see it.

The French once showed Chuck Norris an episode of Sesame Street. He surrendered just in case.

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris pities Mr. T.

Chuck Norris fans are upset because Anti-Chuck Norris fans don't spend hours coming up with witty rebounds. They just remember flicking through
"Walker, Texas Ranger" and coming up with thousands of true, funny things to say about Chuck Norris. For instance, Chuck Norris is a martial artist who wears a cowboy hat in
Texas and sports a ginger beard and tight jeans.

Jesus willfully crucified himself because he had insider information that Chuck Norris was going to be around in the future. Jesus did this not in
fear of Chuck Norris himself, but in fear of Chuck Norris' acting.

Ronald Reagan didn't have the heart to tell Chuck Norris that his acting in "Walker, Texas Ranger" was forgettable, so Ronald Reagan just told the
world that he had Alzheimer's.

Chuck Norris always wears knee pads. When asked if they were for stunt purposes, Chuck Norris replied "sure."

Chuck Norris fears the Care Bears, especially No Heart.

Chuck Norris has guest directed four episodes of Will and Grace. Before each episode, Chuck Norris requested that Grace be replaced by his friend,
"Peter."

Chuck Norris IS, "Walker, Texas Power Ranger."

Chuck Norris hasn't completed a full roundhouse kick since 1998, when he tore his sack during a taping of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Chuck Norris quit his job working on Sesame Street after just 4 hours, claiming he was tired of "the intimidation, harassment and bullying."

Chuck Norris's favorite Mario Kart character is Princess Peach. Princess Peach's favorite "Walker, Texas Ranger" character is Jimmy
Trivette.

Many stuntmen who have worked with Chuck Norris complain on set that Chuck Norris makes far too many so-called jokes about "exchanging
blows."

In preparation for his future role as a gay cowboy, a young Jake Gyllenhaal spent a year as Chuck Norris' understudy on the set of "Walker, Texas
Ranger."

Chuck Norris adopted a young black child so he could test out his racist jokes first.

Chuck Norris was once the subject of a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" bukkake. The tears of joy he wept reanimated both Jean Cocteau, who filmed
the event, and Oscar Wilde, who made snide comments about Norris' masculinity.

Jack Bauer was overheard saying to Chuck Norris, "Let's get this straight: the only reason you're still conscious is because I don't wanna carry
you."

Chuck Norris was once invited back to his high school to speak at a graduation. Upon his arrival, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse said,
"That's not Zack Morris, that's Chuck Norris!" Mr. Belding broke the bad news to the class that Zack would not be attending the graduation, then delivered a roundhouse
kick to Chuck Norris and sent him to detention.

Chuck Norris was in fact in a television show called "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Despite Chuck Norris’ colored sidekick on "Walker, Texas Ranger," he is an adamant racist.