Monthly archives
November 2009
You, Too, Can Run the Wildcat Offense!8673
October 2009
Bright Ideas and Grand Thoughts, With Your Internet Host Paul FrankOh God, I've Become One of Them
Now That Grandma Has Life Alert, We Can Push Her Down the Stairs Without a Guilty Conscience
September 2009
Random Thoughts on 9/9/9I Don't Even Know What the Fuck "Public Option" Is
Popeye's Chicken
August 2009
Short But SweetJuly 2009
I Love You, God (The Erin Andrews Sex Tape)June 2009
A Zit Waits 'Til You're 12Wal-Mart TV
May 2009
Hairstylists Just Don't UnderstandApril 2009
Hip RestructuringKarma's Gonna Get You
Friends & Family
If Wrestling is Fake, Then I'm a Fat Virgin Who Lives in His Parents' Basement and Lives Solely on a Diet of Cheetos and Tears
March 2009
The Greatest Day of My LifeSo Cold. So Cold.
February 2009
Sometimes I Lay Awake at NightExcuse Me, Sir, But You're Raping Me
Dungeons & Dragons & Women
January 2009
1995I Like Vaginas
Dear Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife's Boobs
You Broke My Dick's Heart
2 Skits I Wrote a Long Time Ago That Coincide with Current Events
Kick Back
I'm Going to Kill You
Fuck You, Subway, FUCK. YOU.
Honey, Ever Since You Got Mauled By That Giant Wild Bear, Sex With You Has Been Horrible
December 2008
Jennifer HudsonMother Earth
Self Defense
Cannibal Family Dinner
Hamstring Injury
November 2008
This Relationship is Over (After This Blowjob)Did You Just Look At My Dick?
The Waiting Room
We Need to Go to Darfur
October 2008
Give Me More BabiesHey Everyone, I'm Sorry I'm Really Fat, Ugly, Creepy Kind Of, And Not Funny
Let Me Put a Popsicle Into Your Mouth
Jus' Askin'
What Kind of Coke Dealer Was That?
September 2008
British SitcomBristol Palin
Dear Poison Control
Can't We Just Be Friends (With Benefits)?
Let's Blow This Gas Chamber
Have You Met My Balls Yet?
Tragic News
Dinner and a Show
America's Saddest Home Videos
Oh, Fancy Seeing You Here At The Abortion Clinic, Bristol Palin
So You've Just Killed a Prostitute
I'm Just Watching You Sleep
Do You Think Michael Moore Showered Today?
Satan Runs an Advice Column
It Happens
Hey, Want to Not Watch Arena Football Tonight?
Thoughts: Chicago Edition
August 2008
Hello ChildrenOBGYN EDU
What's That One Movie?
The Olympics
I Never Realized I Wanted To Kill Myself Before
July 2008
Dear Lance ArmstrongI Just Masturbated To That Ellen Degeneres American Express Commercial
I'm Not Divorcing Your Vagina
I'm Scared of Midgets
Thoughts: Murders, Rapes, and More
Yo Momma
I Would Fuck John McCain's Wife
ATTN: All Staff and Employees
Make Your Afterlife an Afterparty
Nothing Could Top the Birth of My Daughter, 'Cept Maybe When We Beat the Bengals in '82
My Thoughts on Judge Judy, Dentists, Pregnancy and AIDS
So I Pour Blood On Babies
June 2008
A Time For PrayerThat New Movie Wall-E is So Fake
Who Invited Shaq to This Party?
So This is Christmas
The Amateur Therapist
May 2008
My Cousin is on The Moment of Truth TonightBill Belichick's Babysitting Service
One Child Left Behind (w/ VIDEO)
Conversations #3
Conversations #2
Phone Conversation Video
Out of My Mind...Onto PIC
Rosie O'Donnell Pick-Up Lines
My Thoughts Return
April 2008
A Few Things I've Never Told YouThings My Uncle Would Never Say While Molesting Me
Awkward Times for an Intervention
Things Children Never Say When You Ask Them "What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?"
Quotes from My Dentist
Cable News Network
The Delivery Room
The Neighborhood
Rape Support Group
That's Either Spam Or SOMETHING REALLY AWESOME1111!!!11
Guilt Trip Yo Momma Lines
How Come Nobody Told Me Charlton Heston Died?
An African Child's Wishlist
An Unfinished Dialogue
Comment
I'm a Baby-Fiddler
March 2008
The Porn Game (NSFW)Medium-Rare Comedy
I Answer My Own Questions
Nomination for Worst PIC Article of 2008
Random Musings
Who's the Faggot Now, Dad?!
If My Brain Could Blog
The Weatherman
Things You Will Never Hear
Prank Call
Overcooked Comedy
February 2008
The Ultimate Guide to Crying Yourself to SleepComedy Buffet
I Just Voted
A Little Helping of Some Points, In Case You Were Hungry
Watch This VIDEO
January 2008
Health ClassThings Hitler's Teachers Shouldn't Have Said To Him
Never Forget
New Year's Revolutions
We Have a Problem
The Black Market
Garbage Disposal
December 2007
Hitler and His Jewish FriendThe Network
Some Points Just in Case
Template For Insulting Comments
I Couldn't Ask for a Better Banner Ad
I Think These are Thoughts
The Ol' Bait and Switch
A New Way to Stand Up
Strip Clubs in Winter
What I Wrote Down During Geography
Don't Flush the Fish
Home Ownership
Bill Murray is Tired
Communion Food Critic
Euphoric Utopia: A Winter Wonderland
Thoughts Leaking From My Brain
Cock Block
November 2007
I Love Doing SportsI'll Never Be Chris Berman
Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, and Comedy
It's Not Delivery, It's Comedy
Fresh-Squeezed Comedy
Be Kind, Rewind
An Awkward Introduction














