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Monthly archives

November 2009

You, Too, Can Run the Wildcat Offense!
8673

October 2009

Bright Ideas and Grand Thoughts, With Your Internet Host Paul Frank
Oh God, I've Become One of Them
Now That Grandma Has Life Alert, We Can Push Her Down the Stairs Without a Guilty Conscience

September 2009

Random Thoughts on 9/9/9
I Don't Even Know What the Fuck "Public Option" Is
Popeye's Chicken

August 2009

Short But Sweet

July 2009

I Love You, God (The Erin Andrews Sex Tape)

June 2009

A Zit Waits 'Til You're 12
Wal-Mart TV

May 2009

Hairstylists Just Don't Understand

April 2009

Hip Restructuring
Karma's Gonna Get You
Friends & Family
If Wrestling is Fake, Then I'm a Fat Virgin Who Lives in His Parents' Basement and Lives Solely on a Diet of Cheetos and Tears

March 2009

The Greatest Day of My Life
So Cold. So Cold.

February 2009

Sometimes I Lay Awake at Night
Excuse Me, Sir, But You're Raping Me
Dungeons & Dragons & Women

January 2009

1995
I Like Vaginas
Dear Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife's Boobs
You Broke My Dick's Heart
2 Skits I Wrote a Long Time Ago That Coincide with Current Events
Kick Back
I'm Going to Kill You
Fuck You, Subway, FUCK. YOU.
Honey, Ever Since You Got Mauled By That Giant Wild Bear, Sex With You Has Been Horrible

December 2008

Jennifer Hudson
Mother Earth
Self Defense
Cannibal Family Dinner
Hamstring Injury

November 2008

This Relationship is Over (After This Blowjob)
Did You Just Look At My Dick?
The Waiting Room
We Need to Go to Darfur

October 2008

Give Me More Babies
Hey Everyone, I'm Sorry I'm Really Fat, Ugly, Creepy Kind Of, And Not Funny
Let Me Put a Popsicle Into Your Mouth
Jus' Askin'
What Kind of Coke Dealer Was That?

September 2008

British Sitcom
Bristol Palin
Dear Poison Control
Can't We Just Be Friends (With Benefits)?
Let's Blow This Gas Chamber
Have You Met My Balls Yet?
Tragic News
Dinner and a Show
America's Saddest Home Videos
Oh, Fancy Seeing You Here At The Abortion Clinic, Bristol Palin
So You've Just Killed a Prostitute
I'm Just Watching You Sleep
Do You Think Michael Moore Showered Today?
Satan Runs an Advice Column
It Happens
Hey, Want to Not Watch Arena Football Tonight?
Thoughts: Chicago Edition

August 2008

Hello Children
OBGYN EDU
What's That One Movie?
The Olympics
I Never Realized I Wanted To Kill Myself Before

July 2008

Dear Lance Armstrong
I Just Masturbated To That Ellen Degeneres American Express Commercial
I'm Not Divorcing Your Vagina
I'm Scared of Midgets
Thoughts: Murders, Rapes, and More
Yo Momma
I Would Fuck John McCain's Wife
ATTN: All Staff and Employees
Make Your Afterlife an Afterparty
Nothing Could Top the Birth of My Daughter, 'Cept Maybe When We Beat the Bengals in '82
My Thoughts on Judge Judy, Dentists, Pregnancy and AIDS
So I Pour Blood On Babies

June 2008

A Time For Prayer
That New Movie Wall-E is So Fake
Who Invited Shaq to This Party?
So This is Christmas
The Amateur Therapist

May 2008

My Cousin is on The Moment of Truth Tonight
Bill Belichick's Babysitting Service
One Child Left Behind (w/ VIDEO)
Conversations #3
Conversations #2
Phone Conversation Video
Out of My Mind...Onto PIC
Rosie O'Donnell Pick-Up Lines
My Thoughts Return

April 2008

A Few Things I've Never Told You
Things My Uncle Would Never Say While Molesting Me
Awkward Times for an Intervention
Things Children Never Say When You Ask Them "What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?"
Quotes from My Dentist
Cable News Network
The Delivery Room
The Neighborhood
Rape Support Group
That's Either Spam Or SOMETHING REALLY AWESOME1111!!!11
Guilt Trip Yo Momma Lines
How Come Nobody Told Me Charlton Heston Died?
An African Child's Wishlist
An Unfinished Dialogue
Comment
I'm a Baby-Fiddler

March 2008

The Porn Game (NSFW)
Medium-Rare Comedy
I Answer My Own Questions
Nomination for Worst PIC Article of 2008
Random Musings
Who's the Faggot Now, Dad?!
If My Brain Could Blog
The Weatherman
Things You Will Never Hear
Prank Call
Overcooked Comedy

February 2008

The Ultimate Guide to Crying Yourself to Sleep
Comedy Buffet
I Just Voted
A Little Helping of Some Points, In Case You Were Hungry
Watch This VIDEO

January 2008

Health Class
Things Hitler's Teachers Shouldn't Have Said To Him
Never Forget
New Year's Revolutions
We Have a Problem
The Black Market
Garbage Disposal

December 2007

Hitler and His Jewish Friend
The Network
Some Points Just in Case
Template For Insulting Comments
I Couldn't Ask for a Better Banner Ad
I Think These are Thoughts
The Ol' Bait and Switch
A New Way to Stand Up
Strip Clubs in Winter
What I Wrote Down During Geography
Don't Flush the Fish
Home Ownership
Bill Murray is Tired
Communion Food Critic
Euphoric Utopia: A Winter Wonderland
Thoughts Leaking From My Brain
Cock Block

November 2007

I Love Doing Sports
I'll Never Be Chris Berman
Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, and Comedy
It's Not Delivery, It's Comedy
Fresh-Squeezed Comedy
Be Kind, Rewind
An Awkward Introduction

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