Me: So [Stoner Chick] is back in town.
Jake: The eighteen year old?
Me: She's nineteen now.
Jake: Why didn't you ever hit that?
Me: Morals.
Jake: What?
Me: You know, morals. I try not to hit chicks that are under twenty one unless it's just all random.
Jake: What's your definition of random?
Jake: All I'm saying is she's hot.
Me: That she is.
Jake: And cool.
Me: She's pretty cool.
Me and Jake: For a chick.
Jake: You and [SC] look good together.
Me: What, 'cause we're both blond?
Jake: Save that Aryan shit for the tourists. I'm saying 'cause you're always laughing and smiling.
Me: We have fun.
Jake: So why not keep that shit up? Age is just a number. What's ten years between friends?
Me: You're rounding that number off, hoss.
Jake: Man, why you afraid of getting old? You don't look no older than when I met you.
Me: But I feel it.
Jake: Well, I feel like shooting [people] but I don't let that get to me.
Jake: I'm just curious.
Me: About what?
Jake: About how you define random.
Me: Why?
Jake: Well, that Jessica chick is only nineteen and you stick your dick in her.
Me: She just wants to party.
Jake: So do I. So do you. What's different about what [SC] wants?
Me: SC, do you want a relationship?
Stoner Chick: Sure.
Me: With me?
Stoner Chick: Ha ha ha. That's funny.
Me: No seriously. Do you?
Stoner Chick: Are you asking me out?
Me: We've gone out tons of times.
Stoner Chick: Yeah, but never as a couple. I mean, do you think I'm loin worthy?
Me: I should have never told you about that.
Stoner Chick: Or anybody else, Sahara Scalp.
Me: [SC] ain't loin worthy.
Jake: Man, you should have an entry exam.
Me: Que pasa?
Jake: You know? you must be this smart to take seriously.
Me: I'm gonna post this conversation in the snippets tonight.
Jake: That'll get [SC] to take off again. By the way, you're a dumbass.
Me: Fuck you.
Jake: Think about this for a minute. If a hot, cool, teenage chick wanted to be my girlfriend, would you tell me not to do it?
Me: Just to reiterate: fuck you.
Jake: You're stupid, Nate. Always remember that.
Labels: snippets