California Likes Gays Just the Way They Are
Governor Jerry Brown bans gay-to-straight therapy.
The State of California got the gay and lesbian community all sexy hot happy when Governor Jerry Brown banned a "therapy" that is designed to turn gay people into straight people and thus rid the world of men who think my butt is cute.
Doctors are no longer allowed to practice "reparative therapy" because apparently trying to inform someone that the majority of their naturally occurring sexual thoughts are satanic can actually lead to psychological issues like thoughts of suicide. This is much like when you were a child and you failed to adequately keep clean so your loving mother convinced you to kill yourself, and yet you're still here. Fucking slob.
"These practices have no basis in science or medicine, and they will now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery," Brown said on his Twitter feed, after signing the ban into law at the weekend.
And if anybody knows about crazy bins of dust, it's Jerry Brown, owner of the only American made car that runs on pipe dreams.
According to the new law doctors cannot provide therapy that seeks "to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same sex." Doctors can still provide therapy that seeks to keep you from masturbating in elevators though. So it's not much of a win as far as I'm concerned.
The law will come in force January 1 so that the gays have enough time to come up with a nicely themed party to cement the occasion. Personally, I cannot wait to see Gavin dress up as an ass-chapped clad Dr. Freud.
The Trevor Project, which provides suicide prevention for gay folks and works hard to make sure that Trevor never again wears pleated slacks at a dinner party, praised their governor for making it illegal to totally tell someone their personal sexual orientation is a bunch of shit.
The Human Rights Campaign also slobbed the governor's knob on this one because said campaign is for all humans rights, except the fatties, bro! No fatties.
Said the head of The Human Rights Campaign, Chad Griffin, "LGBT youth will now be protected from a practice that has not only been debunked as junk science, but has been proven to have drastically negative effects on their well-being."
Displaying the humility and tact one would expect from the head of The Human Rights Campaign, Griffin then added, "So suck it haterzzzzzzz!"
When asked for a response, haters simply made dismissive wanking motions and went back to the business of trolling teenager's blogs.