I think Dale Carnegie missed out on a key segment of the population: unborn babies. Imagine if you could just teach people how to win friends and influence people FROM THE WOMB. What else does a fetus really have to do all day besides lay around and get nutrients through a tube? I say put all that time into learning advanced marketing and social strategies, and then pop out that vagina with an entourage.
Last month they had twin Playmates in Playboy, which I find odd. Posing naked with your sister? I think just to throw people off, in the fold-out bio section they should have listed their weight and height as 10'7″, 260 pounds.
Earlier this month, Patrick Swayze said that the tabloids have been “shoddy and reckless” and that their coverage basically amounts to “emotional cruelty.” Hey, celebrities, here's a tip: STOP READING TABLOIDS. Especially if you're going through a crisis or sensitive situation in which you may be emotionally vulnerable or likely to whine like a pussy about the media's portrayal of you. I don't read tabloids. Is that because I'm not in them? No. It's because they're silly. If I do read them, rest assured it's for comedy's sake. And if it turns out I'm in one, thank god, I'm finally a star.
Speaking of celebs, how is it that they haven't invented some device to shield celebrities' faces from the paparazzi yet? Why is everyone always holding up their coats or other random objects to avoid photos? Surely this is an untapped market. Greater even than marketing to unborn babies.
I buy stuff I need on Craigslist whenever possible, despite how weird it is to eventually interact with buyers via the internet. Here's what one person wrote on their ad for something I wanted: “If you'd like to speak on the phone, drop me a line and I'll send you my number. Please do not send me your number and ask me to call you.” How weird is that? It's already hard enough to communicate thru Craigslist and now there are people who are afraid of initiating a phone conversation? What could possibly make someone afraid of dialing a call, but not receiving one? Is there a disorder where people are super paranoid about OTHER people's privacy, but not their own?