How to Rob a House
The absolute beginner's guide to breaking, entering, and taking.
There is a substantial subset of people who find PIC through Google searches. Two of the classics they often stumble upon are Nate's "How to Be a Drug Dealer" and "How to Get Away with Murder" articles. No doubt two very important occupations (drug dealer and murderer) that would send the majority of news organizations into bankrupty were it not for the host of people completely unqualified to work them.
Most of the people reading these guides leave ridiculous comments with their own 2 cents on the matters, or a thumbs up, or some retarded additional tips. But until now, not a single person from this subset has offered a new guide in a related field.
So today, I am proud to present you with the first unedited article submission tackling another illegal profession: robbery. Don't read too closely, for those of you breaking and entering will likely need a lot more instruction before making this a career.
HOW TO ROB A HOUSE
first of all, this is my first artical my spelling is not that good but i know how to commit crime and thats what im hear to help you with.
depends on the situation but you will probably need face mask, wepon, bag, beach towell....WHAT YOU WILL NOT NEED PHONE,WALLET,HEAVY CLOTHING,JEANS ECT anything that will slow you down or leave evidence!
SUS EVERYTHING AROUND AND IN THE HOUSE.
b4 you get down and dirty, you must sus everything around and in the house example "neighbours, people, dogs, and ect.
HOW TO TELL IF ANY1S HOME.
now if you dont do this well it can turn up being very ugly. first go to the front door knock and wait and remember waiting is important. if someone opens the front door be nice and polite and say "hey i was wondering if jake there please" you pick the name anyway you get the point what im trying to get threw is ask for someone who is not obvisouly not gonna be there when the person says no sorry i think you got the wrong house react like your surprized and say the the number a couple of houses up or whatever.
GETTING INTO THE HOUSE.
now this is the part where everyone get's nervous and its also one of the hardiest, most people who own a HOUSE will leave a window or a door or somthing open you must sus this out b4 jumping to the next idea. if you cant find anything then find the most sacluded window a.k.a where know one can see or hear. find an object that will break the window and this is where your beach towell will come in handy.lay the towell under the window this way it will avoid the noice of broken glass shattering all over the floor then break the window p.s dont hesitate to throw hard if you do it in 1 turn the betta. you might then want to go back outside across the street ect, and chill and see if police or neighbours rock up if not scrap a tool or wepon across the bottom of the window this will avoid cutting youself and then place the towell over it and jump in. if your with mates to avoid them making more noice or whatever first one in threw the window should open the back door or easy entrance for them.
WHAT TO GET?
plain and simple best thing are jewllrey, money, gaming consoles, eletrical apliances, ipod phones, games, computers.
SAFTEY AND AVOID BEING IN JAIL DO THESE THING!!!
1. WEAR GLOVES
3.DONT BE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ANYTHING!
4.IF CAUGHT DONT SNITCH
5.IF YOU FOLLOW THESE RULES AND USE COMMON SENSE YOU WILL SUCCSESSFULLY BE ABLE TO ROB A HOUSE.