Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
Sure, you may be worried your teen has succumbed to the latest drug craze, but it's also likely he's just the apocalyptic repayment for centuries of evil and injustice.
I can't help but be ashamed of how materialistic I used to be. I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.
Cults get a bad rap these days, but they're actually pretty fun once you get used to the smell... and me, I'm always around.
Boy meets girl and it's love at first sight. They both go to grab the same latte, but they can't because their barista has been DEAD FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS.
Only those with great strength , wit , and magick  will navigate these footnotes  successfully. Can you find safe passage to the Citadel of Footnotes ?
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.
For every young gazelle killed by a lion for food, a puppy, too, must also be sacrificially exsanguinated by Steve Bannon to the Dark King of Babylon.
While it may not make for polite conversation on Christmas morning, it’s important nonetheless that you understand, Harry Potter is a degenerate psychopath.
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
The postage wouldn’t stop coming and my uncle moved us into a motel, but the wizarding world still found me.
Something extremely odd and unsettling happened with the Cowboys this year. We all know what, but the question is "HOW??"