Christopher Columbus Discovered Heaven
The only problem with Heaven is that it doesn’t last long, depending on how strong your beans are, and so the key is to keep drinking more of it.
Tag: Water
I’m Trying to Be a Supportive Field Hand, But I’m Sick of Listening to the Farmer Complain About the Curse a Witch Put on His Land
Every day the farmer moans about how he’s worried he’ll have no crops to sell this year and won't be able to afford his mortgage, blah blah blah.
Mar-a-Lago Bath Bombs
Use the (Space) Force: Lavender, yuzu, and citrus form their own sixth military branch... mission: self-care!
Thoughts from a Town with an Abandoned Twinkie Factory
"When we put him in the ground, we dropped in every Twinkie wrapper. A shade under a million. He lived to 103. So...yes. I think they're ok for you.”
An Evening with General Custer’s Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson at Buffalo Wild Wings
Chesney stormed out of the gate, inhaling what must've been 25-30 wings in the first two minutes. Drums, flats, didn't matter.
To the Stranger Who Hogged the Dance Dance Revolution Machine
How did you ask me to watch your gallon jug of water without a second thought or an inkling of remorse?
r/Relationships: I suspect that my GF [33] steals monuments
Every time I ask who such-and-such is, I get a ludicrously fake pun answer like a G-rated version of a Bart Simpson prank call.
5 Slightly Different Ways I Take My Coffee
A light dusting of cinnamon: This makes the coffee kind of taste like cinnamon, but just a little bit.
What Did You Do This Summer?
You ran a marathon? Impressive! How was it? I bet. The first five are always the hardest, then you move on to Ironmans.
The Kayak Pirate Known As Captain Manscaped Beard
Once the kayak is stolen, the Captain sells the 'yak to fund his groovy seaside summer adventures and to replenish his supply of slushy drinks.
8 Facts About Water Coolers That Will Wow Your Coworkers
The Office’s (U.S.) water cooler, The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler, was personally recruited by Greg Daniels.
When is the Best Time to Visit New York?
There are three distinct rivers in New York summers: the Hudson, the East, and the one continuously flowing down into your ass crack.