School | Page 23 | Points in Case

Tag: School

I bought him that can opener as a gift to use on Boy Scout trips and he mocks me by spelling swears in alphabet soup on our counter!

Good manners are expected at all times. That means always saying “please,” “thank you,” and “our mother made a terrible mistake not baptizing us.”

Sell and then shake 'em down for dirt on their dealer. There's only room for one dirty cop and one dirty Girl Scout troop in this neighborhood.

To: Juliet Miller <[email protected]> Subject: Your Last Chance to Get Up On This

Why, if I supposedly love my mom so much, did I tell everyone, "My mom is making me come home because I have a stomachache, I hate her so much"?

Who's in favor of ending "gun-free zones" and replacing them with "free gun zones"? The answer to every question in America is "more."

When the lives of countless transgender children are at stake, I've no choice but to raise aloft my twin sai and declare, "Fearmongers, beware!"

There's only two types of surfers: braindead fuckheads, and guys who have checking accounts. Now, split up accordingly everyone.

An examination of the lasting damage that can occur when your grade school bullies are influenced by Salvador Dali.

Your high school guidance counselor forgot to tell you that you are not special. Actually, you ARE special, but in all the wrong ways.

It is with heavy heart that I, Robby Schwartz, wish to announce that I am no longer a punk rocker. I am now a skater; please accept my decision.

The Next Great American Novel won’t be written by a 27-year-old with clear braces and a Deathly Hallows tattoo.