Are You There God? It’s Me, Your 4th Grader’s Recorder
Please don’t reopen school. I won’t be able to make it another year with those behemoths suffocating me with their skeevy, pudgy fingers.
Please don’t reopen school. I won’t be able to make it another year with those behemoths suffocating me with their skeevy, pudgy fingers.
Maybe you should have married into more money because it turns out teaching IS its own job: a 2020 "In-The-Time-of-Coronavirus" jobs list.
“Young ladies and gentlemen, meet Finnius Fletcherbottom, head professor of our newest department, necessary this year, Wizarding IT!”
You have duly earned those A̶’̶s̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶A̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ P’s, which stand for Probably Above Par.
Dancing Alone, Procrastinating Together: A Sociological Interrogation of TikTok, or Why I Didn’t Finish My Major Requirements
I do wish everyone could see me. I need everyone I got drunk with Freshman year and then avoided to witness how gorgeous I am, munching on Doritos.
Looking like the way a six-year-old might try to draw a sports car? Quirky! The sound system that consisted of maybe two buttons total? Great
In exchange for $0 an hour, disillusionment, and occasional sexual harassment, you get a letter of recommendation and two bullet points on a resume.
3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.
Some evil Freudian wiring has kept my sister and I at the mercy of the same celebrities and, even worse, absolute hunks in our daily lives.
What I love about education is that it provides the unique opportunity to do my homework instead of having to consider any future plans.
People ask why I need the world’s most powerful artificial intelligence to manufacture a simple product. Obviously, those people aren’t businessmen.