All the Species Darwin Discovered in the Galapagos Islands, and How They Tasted
How could two islands of near-identical climate, geology, and elevation give rise to two such distinct, yet delicious creatures? Science rocks.
Tag: Satire
My Life Is Flashing Before My Eyes, but the Cinematography Is Terrible
Honestly, if it wasn’t good in the "Bourne" movies, who thought shaky cam would be good to use over my third-grade musical?
Forget Magic Beans, I Will Trade You These NFTs for Your Mother’s Only Milking Cow
So magical are they, that if you purchase them now, by tomorrow they’ll be worth thousands, perhaps even millions of dollars!
It’s a New Year! Time to Set Another Realistic Goodreads Goal That You Somehow Won’t Meet
The bar gets lower every year, and you still haven't managed to clear it. But this one. This is the year. You can feel it.
I’m “John-At-The-Bar” and Whatever Billy Joel May Say, I Always Followed Corporate Policy
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
The Four Ubers of the Apocalypse
And so I asked Conqueror if he was a new Uber driver, and he said unto me, "As a matter of fact, this is my first day driving."
Announcement: I Am Getting into Classical Music
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
My “Frankenstein” Is the First in Which the Monster Uses a Sweet-Ass Butterfly Knife
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.
What a Cloud Thinks YOU Look Like
The other day I caught up with a gaggle of humans bobbing around in a wave pool and the first thing I thought of was “flesh corks.”
Holiday Quiz from Your Favorite Auntie Who Is Secretly Plotting against Your Mother
3. List the toys/gifts/cash you received from family members other than Auntie Abigail. (Because this auntie can top whatever you got.)
Neil Degrasse Tyson Ruins “The Night Before Christmas”
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, Although millions of microscopic mites which live in the pores of the skin will be out to feast
FAQ: What Concerned Kids Need to Know to Keep Their Adults Safe on Facebook
Q. What is Facebook? A. It’s a great place for people to connect with others who are also lonely in the suburbs.