Outrageous! Gladiators have been engaging in vile political protest by quietly bending to their knees rather than showing proper tribute to our Empire and dear Emperor Caligula.
My favorite show, after The Apprentice of course, is Fox & Friends. I was watching an episode the other day, so good, so much about me, had to make a speech about it here.
More friendly advice for those women thinking about online dating...because my advice for men the first time around wasn't enough.
Less is more, I always said. If you can’t find a fjord in New Jersey, better apply for an ocean permit ASAP so we can have the ceremony at Brigantine Beach.
Tim Cook's voice sounded almost dreamlike as it reverberated off the pillars and buttresses of the repurposed superchurch that served as Apple's Announcement Pod.
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
I wonder if my indoor sunglasses and the giant jug of orange juice betray my hangover? The glare from Sister Beatrice indicates yes.
Does metabolism really have anything to do with taking off your shirt, screaming "I want to feel alive!" and diving face first into a 360-degree twisted tube slide?
Whether you're getting through a tough breakup, have low self-esteem, or just lack self control, Feel Good Grub is perfect for piggy little stress eaters like you.
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
The comfortably structured contour-caressing nap of the Twerkini cover-up transforms motion into electrical energy, helping to charge cell phones.