Satire | Page 224 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Find a project, be passionate about it, let it consume you until you have no time or energy for sex with your wife.

Don't dwell on your decision to crush that hitchhiker’s skull after listening to your partner suck lettuce from their molar for the last seven exits.

Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.

Listen to the language, Jeff. “Designated area,” ”gentle correction.” Is this our backyard or is this Auschwitz?

These mysterious eviction notices may be related to ectoplasm, as both are occasionally left behind following a paranormal experience.

Finally, I'll have sated my 200-year-old appetite, fulfilled a centuries-old curse, and your family's financial situation will stabilize.

You assume liability for certain risks including overcooked steak, delusions of grandeur, eerily dwindling base support, and airborne spray tan.

He used words like “dooth” and “swete”, and I still have no idea what they mean. And his fashion is from the 1300s -- lots of beige-colored tunics.

Why strip away the rights of people like me, a man in perfect mental health who wants to shove a razor blade into a Pecan Chunky purely for kicks?

You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.

Um, I don't know why anyone but Tim Cook is still reading this, but you should probably bottle up your excitement...

Hal's Review: "About 13,000 people died there in the early 1900s, but you could hardly tell!"