Satire | Page 222 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Super Male Vitality: We went to a gas station and bought every dick pill that we could. Then we crushed them up and put them into a vial.

If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.

Lewis Carroll (1832-1898 CE, Writer): An early adopter of a classic writer’s block cure, Carroll’s method was simple: drugs.

I need a strong, carnivorous lover, not a submissive creature of the field.

Burton. Wendy. You can’t do a duet of “Something Stupid” as Jean is lowered into the ground.

We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.

"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."

I have to be me. I’m not going to stop eating the heads off of my mates after sex just because “the patriarchy frowns on it, Allie,”

Remain present as you haul ass down the aisles, reminding yourself to stay in the moment as you sweep armfuls of electronics into a burlap sack.

Chad laughed even harder and called me a freak. It feels good to have a friend (jokingly!) put you in your place.

The human appeared to be leaking water from its eyes while reading “Baby this is your back,” “All of our umbrellas are so in love,” & “Lose Your Ya!”

The only drawback I can see here is that aluminum crumples up, so you’re going to want to make sure you don’t accidentally sit on your aluminum gun.