How to Get Over a Flop Ex-Boyfriend
Imagine him chasing after a ping pong ball. Imagine him eating a banana horizontally, à la corn on the cob.
Imagine him chasing after a ping pong ball. Imagine him eating a banana horizontally, à la corn on the cob.
"What gives? Let's get fro-yo and drop a piano on him Looney Tunes-style."
I would think this would be first-three-date territory, even. Instead, you decided to mention it a decade into our relationship.
There wasn’t a single awkward pause, which is rare because I get anxious when I talk to a search engine I want to optimize.
Does he keep dropping hints about a dark backstory? Everyone knows that the hottest men are deeply traumatized by their pasts.
Immediately reschedule the client-by-client reviews; I like him so much I’m gonna throw up.
We give single people a chance to fall in love by making sure they are distracted by a bunch of petty in-fighting and random side-eye.
I still have all 327 of your fan letters from 1997--kick-ass Lisa Frank stationary, by the way--and I’m sorry it’s taken so long to respond.
2. Wear it as a Halloween costume! There’s nothing more terrifying than the repercussions of the wedding-industrial complex.
- He’s been trying out different mating calls. - You’ve caught him googling “Brown Booby,” “Great Tit,” and “Cock-of-the-Rock.”
You’re willing to fight for what I deserve. You categorically accept my claim that, “This is not entirely my fault.”
The bandmates of both Cuccaro and Smith shall have their longstanding permission to “crash on the couch” revoked no later than the day of divorce.