Open Letters | Page 28 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

Think you got the dangling participles it takes to be a PIC writer? First change your name, then buy a pair of sunglasses. Here comes infamy.

Baby, I stay up all night just thinking about you, but the truth is, you're a snore in the bedroom. Don't send me a letter unless it's a Z.

Hey United States. Look I'm not trying to be critical, I just have some questions about, you know, things like Cheney, nudity, and money.

Riding the bus is never a 'pleasant' or 'punctual' experience. But Mr. Driver, please, stop lowering the handicap ramp for fun.

It's obvious you've succeeded at staving off death (thus far), but could you speed things up (the treadmill) and dress the part (athletic gear)?

Hey, it's your Facebook buddy here. No, not Tom, fuck him. Just want you to know that I'm thinking up new ways for you to scare people.

When your ex-girlfriend turns the revenge meter up to 'crazy,' the politely constructed blackmail letter may be your only chance at a truce.

An open letter of apology from a regretful SWAT team member who put his fellow officers in danger. Just another reminder that alcohol kills.

Oh Bronx, your straight ghetto ways never fail to impress. Except for your roadside vendors. Please replace them with more prostitutes and thugs.

Sometime during freshman year you will realize that, even though they threw some

Okay, I'll admit screwing your wife in public was wrong, but completely emasculating you in the process, well, that was way out of line.

No matter the scenario, even if she's got a good head on her shoulders, if you whip out this argument, she'll soon be speechless.