Ten Excuses Guaranteed to Get Out of Having Sex With Your Wife
Find a project, be passionate about it, let it consume you until you have no time or energy for sex with your wife.
Find a project, be passionate about it, let it consume you until you have no time or energy for sex with your wife.
Don't dwell on your decision to crush that hitchhiker’s skull after listening to your partner suck lettuce from their molar for the last seven exits.
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.
Um, I don't know why anyone but Tim Cook is still reading this, but you should probably bottle up your excitement...
Doctors always say things like "watch that cholesterol." They are unwarrantedly suspicious and overtly vigilante over an entire group. It's profiling!
With all due respect, let me tell you what an actual emergency is: when Rose’s necklace went missing and they blamed poor Jack for stealing it.
As she trails off, she restarts "The Office" on Netflix for the twenty-fifth time and pulls her couch blanket over herself.
Use the (Space) Force: Lavender, yuzu, and citrus form their own sixth military branch... mission: self-care!
"When we put him in the ground, we dropped in every Twinkie wrapper. A shade under a million. He lived to 103. So...yes. I think they're ok for you.”
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.
Focus on your breath or letting your body go limp as it’s being dragged out of an ADA compliant stall by a security guard named Dennis.
10.15 am - Somone tries to get into the office but gets lost in the revolving doors.