The Mayor of New York City Should Be an Actual Train
Whereas politicians say lies, trains say only “choo-choo” and “chuga-chuga” and “stand clear of the closing doors, please.”
Tag: New York
Mealtime Hacks That Guarantee Your Child Will Be a 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals Judge
If he really needs a birthday cake, make him an energy-boosting quinoa and oatmeal cake with sample questions from the LSAT written in marzipan.
“Sopranos” Episodes I Saw in a Fever Dream
"Have You Heard About This," Season 2: Paulie’s foray into the world of standup comedy compromises his ability to earn for the business.
Donald J. Trump, Philanthropist and Humanitarian, is Dead at Age 87
Mr. Trump focused on building affordable housing, available to people of color and immigrants, whom he said “don’t get a fair shake in this country.”
What Your NCAA Bracket Champion Says About You
Cincinnati Bearcats: You’ve watched a tournament game in a strip club. Iowa Hawkeyes: You lost money investing in Matthew Whittaker’s toilet company.
What I Do With My Bees is None of This Co-Op Board’s Business
Not many people know this, but my bees once stung the hell out of Mario Cuomo. That’s right, this horde of insects is a part of New York history.
Greetings From Your Left-Out Friend Who Doesn’t Know How to Play Settlers of Catan
I propped cushions and draped a blanket to be safe from the hospitable elements--the laughter, the bonding, the strengthening over some foolish game.
Ten Classic Books Everyone Should Pretend to Read
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is Kirsten Gillibrand Likeable, Tough, Driven, Soapy, and Metallic Enough? Or Is She Too Glittering, Muscular, Serpentine, and Tangy?
I harbor serious doubts whether Gillibrand has the fortitude, charisma, hunkiness, and vertical leap necessary to win the electoral college.
Signs It’s Time to Cancel Your New Yorker Subscription
You scan the "Goings On About Town" and bemoan your meaningless existence in some secondary city 790 miles from any actual New Yorkers.
7 Fun & Flirty Head Injuries to Find True Love
Dizzy from the amount of sudden cardio of hiking, wobble, and then get hit in the head with a drone, the impact sending you down a sharp embankment.
The Trump Steaks Government Shutdown Special
There’s never been a better time to get our signature cuts of Flank, lower case T-Bone, Z-Bone, Subprime, Sphincter, Roadkill, and, of course, Okja.