I Starred as “Greg” in a Corporate Sexual Harassment Training Video and It Ruined My Life
For approximately 134,000 of my New Brunswick neighbors and others across the globe, I became the face of workplace sexual harassment.
Tag: Neighbors
Optimize Your Originality by Copying Famous Creatives’ Daily Habits
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): Awoken by spousal uppercut at 6:30, the philosopher began an impressive washing regimen; Kant felt his mind was sharpened by pouring pitchers of cold water over himself.
Welcome to Nextdoor Fight Club, Where You Must Turn Every Topic into a Fight
Rule 3. There are no limits to the number of people in a fight. The nature of our discussion board means that 15-100 people will typically join in.
Reasons Why I Didn’t Come To Your Improv Show
I went back in time and it was there that Lin-Manuel asked me to help him with his play Hamlet or something that starts with the letter H.
A Complaint Letter to the Cherry Tree Lane Homeowners Association
Also, there seems to be woman flying to and from number 17 Cherry Tree Lane by means of an umbrella.
When Did Purges Get So Corporate?
Every year there’s an escalation of more and more extreme Purge spectacles. And honest, hard-working citizens just can’t keep up.
Jack-o’-Lantern Designs That Say “We’re Filing for Divorce”
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
The Inaugural Sick Day of a Workaholic
9:00 pm: Apply to 27 jobs for fun (your therapist told you that “hobbies are healthy”) and get them all.
I Am Very Special
This mug featured nine cats smiling at me and each other with the encouraging words, “You’re very special,” written in delicate script above them.
As Poet Laureate of Sunhill Knolls, I Offer My Apology
While I regret the damage to property, any who were there in person must have been moved by the shower of sparks emitted by that antique amplifier.
Eulogy for Bernard “Bernie” Lomax
Yes, to the gentleman in the back who just loudly questioned if Bernie is really dead, I assure you he is. This is his funeral. I’m sorry.
How to Avoid Bursting Into Flames Without Air Conditioning
Create clothing from frozen vegetables. People always want to wear as little clothing as possible during the summertime. That's a big mistake.