Reasons Why I Didn’t Come To Your Improv Show
I went back in time and it was there that Lin-Manuel asked me to help him with his play Hamlet or something that starts with the letter H.
I went back in time and it was there that Lin-Manuel asked me to help him with his play Hamlet or something that starts with the letter H.
Also, there seems to be woman flying to and from number 17 Cherry Tree Lane by means of an umbrella.
Every year there’s an escalation of more and more extreme Purge spectacles. And honest, hard-working citizens just can’t keep up.
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
9:00 pm: Apply to 27 jobs for fun (your therapist told you that “hobbies are healthy”) and get them all.
This mug featured nine cats smiling at me and each other with the encouraging words, “You’re very special,” written in delicate script above them.
While I regret the damage to property, any who were there in person must have been moved by the shower of sparks emitted by that antique amplifier.
Yes, to the gentleman in the back who just loudly questioned if Bernie is really dead, I assure you he is. This is his funeral. I’m sorry.
Create clothing from frozen vegetables. People always want to wear as little clothing as possible during the summertime. That's a big mistake.
“I see what you were doing. Building up my trust so that one day, you could get me involved in your little scheme too,” I said, holding back tears.
If I get cream cheese on my nose, don’t dare lick it off, for The Lord Your Dog is a jealous Dog when cream cheese is nigh, and whipped cream too.
As an upstanding member of this community, I hope you’ll believe me that I am, definitively, a human flesh man, and not any kind of insect homunculus.