Those Mistakes Were Actually Art Pieces
"The Lonely Hand’s Solo; In Motion, 2017," for Ryan, whom I thought was waving but was not and does not recognize me and now I’ve made eye contact.
Tag: Grammar
The Side Effects of Mytozarphaul
Impulsive purchases of garden gnomes. Contact your doctor immediately if you accumulate more than fifty, especially if where you live is very small.
If You Ever Think “I Wish I Was Dead,” Let Me Assure You: It’s More Correct to Use “Were”
I know that sometimes it seems like the world is unfair. But that’s why we invented language. These rules give structure to a chaotic world.
If You See Something, Say Something
If you see something, say something, but if you see it again, say something different. Talk about the weather or a book you just read. We get it.
Ranking the 2018 Kentucky Derby Horses by Name
9. Vino Rosso (12-1) – Means "red wine" in Italian and "try-hard" in English.
I’m The Word “Moist” and I’m Tired of Everyone Always Cringing Around Me
I’m better off without you. You are so frustrating and judgmental. I have never done anything to wrong you, but yet, you still can’t stand me.
Pros and Cons of Hiring the Guy Outside the Gas Station Holding the “Will Watch Your Kids for Beaf Jerky” Sign
Just because someone had a tough childhood doesn't mean they can't go on to hold a sign at a gas station and do a stellar job watching your kids. Right?
Competitive Texting: 10 Ways to Seem Like the Busier Mom
Throwaways like "Things are cray!" and "It's such a busy time of year!" don't mean anything if you don't have the unavailability to back it up.
The Everyday Life of a Young Male Novelist
Once dressed, I sit at my desk and say a quick prayer to Dionysus. Then I take hold of the mighty pen and let his spirit take hold of my body.
I Combined the Two Things We Fear Most: Donald Trump’s Tweets and Sprite
Is this a modern Huxley, or is it a true fright? Lovecraft… Stoker! Oh, such a crippling thought, such my will of darkness.
Your Writer’s Block Needs You to Cut the Crap
The Next Great American Novel won’t be written by a 27-year-old with clear braces and a Deathly Hallows tattoo.
Suggested Responses When Someone Thanks You for Holding the Door at a Convenience Store
Responding to someone's "thank you" with a "you're welcome" that's tailored to a particular individual? That's the essence of humanity.