Welcome to the MFAGZ Federation®, Formerly the USA
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Choose robot companion for president, as you inevitably prefer living in a blinged up White House adorned with gold droplets of dried Mexican tears.
It's a brand new year and we can finally put all that BS behind us... unless you're David Bowie, Prince, George Michael, or Carrie Fisher.
"My head is too big to fit into women's frames," I told the eyecare associate. "But it’s still not big enough to break the glass ceiling."
You don't need to write me a poem or say something witty, but if you're boring I can't help myself: I'm going to mess with you.
I had forgotten one important factor that may determine the outcome of my business: when it comes to work, I suffer from dissociative identity disorder.
Amazon Prime Baby uses an algorithm designed to evaluate parental fitness based on Amazon order history as a means to simplify the process of infant acquisition.
1946 is going to be a good year for us, my blessed family. Because with the last of our savings I've purchased us a state of the art home computer!
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why do I have to die?” Well, let me be the first to tell you that you’re not alone in your morbid fascination with your own mortality.
In 2016, at least we'll know Donald Trump has been defeated, Star Wars will live on, and I'll live on without Panera and Starbucks every day.
Of course we'll have flying cars in the future. But there's more to driving than cars; there's going to be a whole new driving etiquette based on personal responsibility.
I’ve noticed a general shift in the public’s thinking about whether or not it’s appropriate to wear yoga pants and leggings as everyday pants. WEAR THEM, trust me.