What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Well, neither did I. But with this degree of authenticity from DelphiUniversity.com, I assure you my intuition is real.
Women, you will painfully observe the slow process men go though as they reach the point where they no longer try to win you over. Men, there's always Viagra.
The REAL robots are super-sleek job-killing bastards, designed by humans to slowly wage a war of attrition on the working class until nothing is left but hyper-rich human robot owners.
There's a lot of cool new stuff in the world, but it still feels like the same place. And that's mainly because it's still populated with the same jackasses and idiots.
I am from the future and my people chose me to come back and warn your generation about the oncoming swordslaught. Every horrifying tales of the human downfall involves swords.
How's it going? I see you're researching me for a position in your company, school, or burger joint. I just want you to know, I've drunk alcohol and smoked pot before.
<p><em>Today I have for you some comedy sloppy seconds. I submitted a piece to the comedy website McSweeney's, but I guess it wasn't pseudo-intellectual enough or whatever. Here it is, you be the judge. </em></p><p><strong>The Genitals of the Future<br />by Paul Frank</strong></p>
True Companion has developed the world's first sex robot, a life-size doll designed to engage you in conversation rather than lifelike movement. Uhh... sweet?
Think you got the dangling participles it takes to be a PIC writer? First change your name, then buy a pair of sunglasses. Here comes infamy.
The government has a special site setup to explain Social Security to kids using fables. Mike has a special column to say, 'Fuck you.'
50 years from now, some of today's hottest jobs will already be perfected by robots. Is your career path a dead end?
The year 2005 isn't everything we had hoped for, but with a few tweaks (more steroid use and Iraq war coverage, etc.) it might be a little better.