Food | Page 34 | Points in Case

Tag: Food

There’s never been a better time to get our signature cuts of Flank, lower case T-Bone, Z-Bone, Subprime, Sphincter, Roadkill, and, of course, Okja.

Let this dry skin mask sit for 30 minutes while you contemplate why everyone else's bully peaked in high school but Claire is now an Instagram celeb.

Merrells are suddenly the only shoes that don’t "hurt your feet," and you explain this to strangers, even though your feet have never hurt.

The "Egg on Egg Deluxe" is a regular egg that's been cured for two years and is dying to be enjoyed while crammed on the A train.

Going for a Chaperoned Walk: Change this to a Chaperoned Bike Ride. I build fixed-gear bikes for disadvantaged seeing-eye dogs in my spare time.

God gave the Israelites corn and said, “Take this. And eat it only off the cob, with little tiny things called corn holders."

Lemon Water (8:25 AM): This is lemon water do you copy?! We have reached the epicenter of your gut.

"Learn The Job Beef Chili" -- I only make this dish when I’m trying to displease people on both sides.

Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.

Small Fish | Pros: They are angular and elegant-looking. Do not require much upkeep or food expenses. Cons: You have had it 3 hours. It's dead.

Diane, your son is an expressionless stump on stage (no pun intended). I can’t stress this enough. He looks like a dead, lifeless boy.

We could utilize the approaching inferno and cook acres of lip-smacking omelette and turn it into an egg-themed pleasure park!