I Can’t Get Rid of the Sunglasses That Make Me See How Everyone Will Die Because the Cashier at 7-Eleven Complimented Them
What if I get a new pair and instead of being bitchin’ as hell, they are just bitchin’? Or worse: not bitchin’ at all.
What if I get a new pair and instead of being bitchin’ as hell, they are just bitchin’? Or worse: not bitchin’ at all.
I’d be willing to bet it takes dozens of muscles in the arms, legs, and torso to lift this soda machine off of my shattered body.
Is blockchain when you’re constipated because you ate too many quarters? Is blockchain a European architectural trend?
Write “Elton” on your left hand and “John” on your right hand, zoom in, and make it look like Elton John himself is removing your space helmet.
Hark, I get it. Carpophorus is reinventing the very genre of public violence. I just don’t have time to get into the King of Beasts right now, okay?
Aristotle: “Man, when perfected, is the best of animals,/ but when separated from poppies and almond trees, he is the worst of all.”
Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.
Game of Phones: Follows House Phonecians, that reject the Talk, Text, and Data and popularize an "Unlimited Plan" beyond The Wall.
Peter Jackson: The trolley problem is needlessly split into three separate trolley problems.
The liberals, they're wrong, we can't ban guns. Even if we made guns illegal, someone would reinvent guns and just call them something else.
Do you purposefully find buttons in hopes that pressing one could destroy a planet or star system? A. Yes B. No C. What are buttons
The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.